


Black Memories

by WandaRavenBlack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anorexia, Caning, Child Abuse, Cruciatus, Dark Magic, Dark Mark, Death Eaters, F/M, Hurt, Self-Harm, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:37:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9679484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandaRavenBlack/pseuds/WandaRavenBlack
Summary: Severus keeps insulting Sirius, and Remus has had enough. He decides to show the others a few memories from when he and the other Marauders were young. What they see shocks even Snape.UPDATES ON 00.00 CET BETWEEN FRIDAY AND SATURDAY.





	1. Wonderful Friendship

It was yet another Order meeting. It was boring. As always. Voldemort had been quiet for quite some time and Dumbledore didn’t really have anything to say. After only 20 minutes, they were all dismissed. Everyone left the kitchen where the meeting had been held. Everyone but Sirius, Remus, Snape, Molly, Arthur, Minerva and Dumbledore. Seeing that, Harry, Ron and Hermione turned around and slunk back inside. They joined the small group that was standing and looking at Sirius and Severus. 

“And just what do you mean by that Snivellus?” 

Snape snorted. 

“What I mean? You are a lazy, spoiled, rich kid. You don’t know what it’s really like outside your perfect home life. You aren’t useful for anything.” 

Suddenly Sirius looked as if he had been struck in the face. He paled and there was something scary that appeared in his steely eyes. He took a step towards Snape and said slowly:

“Get out of my house Snape. Before I show you how much of a Black I am. Mother dearest put wardings on this place. I could use an unforgivable on you and no one would know.” 

Before anyone reacted, Remus stepped in between Snape and Sirius. He looked really angry and for the first time, Harry saw the wolf in him. 

“Stand down Sirius.” 

To everyone’s surprise, Sirius took a step back. Then the werewolf turned to Snape and said with anger.

“Don’t you ever dare to say something like that again. I’ll show you a few things. A few memories that I’ve collected from all of the Marauders when we were younger. We’ll see what you think then.” 

Sirius eyes widened. 

“Remus. You can’t just…” 

“Shut up, Black.” 

The animagi quickly lifted his hands into the air. 

“Alright. As you wish.” 

Remy waved his hand towards the wall and everyone sat down on the chairs when a screen appeared on the wall. Sirius and Remy sat down next to each other. The Weasleys, Minerva and Dumbledore sat down between them and Snape. Harry, Ron and Hermione slowly went further into the kitchen and took seats in one corner. Sirius glanced back to them and nodded slowly. The steely glint had disappeared from his eyes and he looked tired. Remus, satisfied with the fact that everyone was sitting down, waved his wand again and an image appeared on the screen. 

_ An eleven year old Sirius was walking quietly next to his father. Orion Black, a tall man, was holding his head up high and it seemed that he wasn’t really paying attention to the boy. When they came to one of the doors in the train, they stopped and Orion crouched down to the boy.  _

_ “Listen now Sirius. When you get to school, I want you to remember a few things. Get into Slytherin. Don’t talk with anyone but Slytherins. Stay away from Gryffindors. And above all, don’t talk with mudbloods and blood traitors. Behave yourself. I also want you to be on top of your class. If I find out that you aren’t the best in some subject, I’ll beat you up so that you forget your own name. Understood?”  _

_ Sirius nodded stiffly.  _

_ “Yes sir.”  _

_ Orion smirked and stood up.  _

_ “Good. Now go.”  _

_ Sirius quickly ran into the train. He walked around in the halls until he crashed into a young boy whose hair was literally sticking in all directions. The boy’s glasses fell off.  _

_ “OW!”  _

_ Sirius looked over to the boy and seemed to hesitate. Then he moved down and picked the glasses up.  _

_ “Here. I’m sorry.”  _

_ The boy put his glasses on and smiled widely.  _

_ “It’s fine. You’re a first year too?”  _

_ Sirius nodded and the boy stretched his hand out to him.  _

_ “I’m James. James Potter.”  _

_ Once again Sirius seemed to hesitate. But then he grabbed the boy’s hand and shook it.  _

_ “I’m Sirius Black.”  _

_ James eyes widened.  _

_ “Black? As in THAT Black?”  _

_ The other boy winced.  _

_ “You’ve heard about me?”  _

_ James slowly shook his head.  _

_ “Nah. Not you. But my dad doesn’t speak kindly about the other Blacks. But you are normal right? I mean, you aren’t like them?”  _

_ Sirius shook his head.  _

_ “I’m trying to not be like those crazy people.”  _

_ James smirked.  _

_ “Alright. Come on Sirius. Let’s find us a compartment.”  _

_ They started to walk through the train until James pulled Sirius arm and pointed to a compartment that was almost empty. Inside was only a boy their age. He was reading a book and seemed to be lost to the world. His arms had a few scratches and he had a scratch across his face. The boys went inside and closed the door after them.  _

_ “Are those places empty?”  _

_ The boy looked up and focused his eyes on the two newcomers.  _

_ “Well, unless someone invisible is sitting here, yes, it’s empty.”  _

_ James smiled widely.  _

_ “I like him.”  _

_ Sirius nodded and they sat down.  _

_ “I’m Sirius Black.”  _

_ “James Potter.”  _

_ The boy looked at them with raised eyebrows. James put his feet up into Sirius lap and tilted his head.  _

_ “Come on. This could be a wonderful friendship.”  _

_ The boy snorted but there was a small smile on his face.  _

_ “I’m Remus Lupin.”  _

_ Just then the door opened and a short boy rushed inside.  _

_ “Help! Please help!”  _

_ He crashed into James outstretched legs and crashed onto the floor. Just then a tall boy, who seemed to be older than them, appeared. Next to him were two big boys. Sirius and James stood up and put themselves between the boys and Remus, who was helping the short boy up. The blonde, who seemed to be the leader of the trio, smirked.  _

_ “Well, well, well. What do we have here. The young Black, hanging out with mudbloods and blood traitors. What would your father say about it?”  _

_ Sirius held his head up high when he answered: _

_ “As if I care. Get out of here Malfoy or I’ll hex you.”  _

_ The older boy tilted his head.  _

_ “Oh, will you? I’m so scared.”  _

_ He said that with a mocking high pitched voice. Sirius raised one of his hands and made a slashing motion. Malfoy was thrown out of the compartment and crashed into the wall. The two other boys looked at Sirius with fear.  _

_ “Get out of here. And remember for the future: don’t mess with a Black.”  _

_ He then slammed the door shut and turned to the others inside. Remus and the new boy seemed to be shocked but James just smirked and held his hand up. Sirius grinned back and high-fived him. They flopped down onto their seats and James turned to the new boy.  _

_ “What’s your name?”  _

_ “I...I...I’m Pe...Pet...Peter Petti...Grew.”  _

_ Sirius raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “Hey, take it easy. We won’t hurt you. We’re not them. Now try again.”  _

_ The boy took a deep breath and tried again. _

_ “I’m Peter Pettigrew. Thank you by the way.”  _

_ Sirius nodded.  _

_ “Sirius Black. The messy haired over there is James Potter. And the book lover is Remus Lupin.”  _

_ James threw his feet up into Sirius lap again. Peter took the seat next to James and relaxed. The rest of the ride was spent on small talk and James trying to steal Remus book. Just before they got off the train James looked around and said with a smile: _

_ “See you in Gryffindor.”  _

The memory ended and Molly looked over to Sirius. 

“You could do wandless magic when you were just eleven?” 

Sirius nodded slowly. 

“My father taught me how to do it when I was ten. He said that if I didn’t learn, he wouldn’t let me go to Hogwarts since I would be a disgrace to the family if I couldn’t do magic and cast spells properly.” 

Arthur’s eyebrows shot up. 

“But he wouldn’t do that right? I mean, he would let you go to Hogwarts even if you couldn’t do magic right?” 

Sirius snorted. 

“Let me? No. He wouldn’t let me. He would declare me a squib and blast me off the family tree. I would then be locked in the house so that no one ever found out or killed and it would be made to look like an accident. That’s the way things worked in this house.” 

Molly turned to Dumbledore. 

“Couldn’t you do anything to stop that kind of treatment Albus?” 

Before the headmaster managed to answer, Sirius spoke up again. 

“With all due respect, Albus wouldn’t be able to do anything. If he as much as said a word against my father, he would lose his position, contacts in the Ministry, the respect that people had for him and maybe even his life. Trust me Molly when I say that people knew. But there wasn’t anything they could do. You didn’t just go against Orion Black and come out on top. He almost murdered uncle Alphard when he figured out that he was supportive of Andy’s marriage with a muggleborn. Andy came by one time when she was pregnant to tell us the news and my mother pushed her down the stairs to, as she said it, ‘Destroy the filth in the blood traitor.” 

Molly put a hand over her mouth while the three teens looked at each other with horror. None of them had known about what Sirius had gone through. This was not starting good. 


	2. I'm A Black!

Remus waved at the wall and another memory started. 

_ It was the next day, after the sorting. Sirius and James were still asleep, while Peter was occupying the bathroom and Remus was reading, fully clothed. A few minutes later, Sirius started to thrash around on the bed. Remus looked over to him with confusion. The black haired boy looked almost as if he was in pain. Then he suddenly sat up with a gasp. Remus was next to him in seconds.  _

_ “Sirius? Are you alright? What’s happening?”  _

_ Sirius looked almost as if he was going to panic. But then he smirked and shrugged.  _

_ “Oh. It’s nothing. We had a boggart in our house shortly before I left for school. It shook me up a bit. Sorry for worrying you.”  _

_ Remus raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything when he noticed the way Sirius was glaring at him, almost daring him to ask.  _

_ “Alright. You better get dressed then. I’ll try to wake James.”  _

_ The young Black smirked.  _

_ “I have an idea.”  _

_ He grabbed his wand and pointed it at James. Water spurted out of it and hit the boy. James jumped out of the bed with a shriek and landed on the floor. Sirius burst out laughing. Remus rolled his eyes and sighed, but a small smile had appeared on his face. James looked around and, seeing the wand in Sirius hand, stood up and launched himself onto the boy. Sirius rolled away with one swift movement and rushed into the bathroom that Peter was exiting. He locked the door behind him just as James had reached it. The messy haired boy pounded at the door with his fist.  _

_ “Come out, Black!”  _

_ Sirius just laughed.  _

_ “Keep wishing for it, Potter!”  _

_ He then sighed quietly and cast a silencio at the door. Then he turned to the mirror and frowned.  _

_ “Boggart. Yeah. Nice save, Black. It wasn’t a lie either. Not really. Reg’s dead body. It even managed to shake mother. But no. It wasn’t a boggart, Remus. It was far from it. The cellar. The belt. Grandfather’s cane.”  _

_ He shivered, remembering it. Then he laughed, humorlessly.  _

_ “Look how low the mighty Black has fallen. A simple caning bringing on nightmares. You should be disgusted with yourself, Sirius.”  _

_ His eyes closed and he repeated, this time in a whisper:  _

_ “Look how low the mighty Black has fallen.”  _

_ He stood still for a few seconds. When his eyes opened again, there was a steely glint in them. He pointed the wand at the mirror and thought of his father. A few minutes later, Orion’s face appeared in it.  _

_ “What’s the meaning of this, Sirius?”  _

_ His voice was calm but that seemed to make Sirius more nervous than he had been before.  _

_ “I’m sorry, father.”  _

_ Before he got any answer, a woman’s shrieking voice was heard from the distance.  _

_ “SIRIUS ORION BLACK! WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! YOU FILTHY BLOOD TRAITOR! YOU…!”  _

_ Orion rolled his eyes.  _

_ “Walburga, please calm down. You’ll wake Regulus. Let me speak to Sirius alone.”  _

_ His voice was still calm, but there was an order in it, and Walburga’s shrieking stopped. Orion turned back to Sirius.  _

_ “Explain.”  _

_ The order was still in his voice and Sirius shivered softly.  _

_ “I… I met this boy on the train. He was nice.”  _

_ Orion’s eyes flashed with anger.  _

_ “Wait a second. Let me get this straight. You went onto the train and KNOWINGLY defied my orders? Do you even remember what I told you or were you busy thinking about something useless again?”  _

_ Sirius took a deep breath and forced himself to keep looking at his father.  _

_ “You told me to get on the train and find my cousins. And to not try to make any friends before I was sure that they were in Slytherin and were of good blood.”  _

_ Orion nodded.  _

_ “And what did you do?”  _

_ “I went onto the train and became friends with a boy I have never seen in my life.”  _

_ Once again, the older Black nodded.  _

_ “You know you are in trouble already Sirius, so I would advise you to keep cooperating. Now tell me, who is that friend of yours?”  _

_ The boy gripped the sink so hard that his knuckles turned white. He knew that his father was at Grimmauld Place and couldn’t touch him, but it still didn’t make him fear the man any less.  _

_ “I…”  _

_ “Sirius.”  _

_ And that was what it took. The slight warning accompanied with disappointment and Sirius gave up. As always.  _

_ “Potter. James Potter. Henry and Dorea Potter’s son.”  _

_ Orion looked furious but took a deep breath and nodded slowly. _

_ “As bad as it it, I suppose it could be worse. Blood traitors are at least a bit better than mudbloods.”  _

_ Sirius looked at him with hopeful eyes and the man smirked.  _

_ “Don’t get me wrong, Sirius. You are still in for a beating. But I’m just saying that it could be worse.”  _

_ Sirius seemed to hesitate. Orion noticed that but decided to wait. After a few seconds, Sirius started to talk slowly: _

_ “It’s not all, father. I… There are two more. Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin.”  _

_ “WHAT?!”  _

_ Sirius took an automatic step back but Orion had calmed down almost immediately.  _

_ “Lupin? Pettigrew? Those are not names I know as pureblood. Would you like to explain it to me?”  _

_ The boy looked as if he wanted to say no. But he thought better of it and answered calmly: _

_ “Mal… Lucius, met us on the train. He called them mudbloods and blood traitors. I guess the latter was meant for J… Potter. So it would make the others mudbloods.”  _

_ He looked down at his hands and waited. Orion closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them he was still calm.  _

_ “Sirius. Look at me, son.”  _

_ Sirius looked up immediately.  _

_ “I don’t hate you. I’m disappointed, yes. I’m furious. I want to beat you up so that you can’t think straight. But I don’t hate you. You’re my son.”  _

_ That statement made Sirius shake.  _

_ “I… I beg for your forgiveness, father.”  _

_ Orion smirked.  _

_ “We’ll see, the next time we meet. Oh, and before you go. One last thing. Did the hat give you any choices?”  _

_ Sirius looked at him with fear and that was all the answer he needed.  _

_ “I see. We’ll discuss it when we meet. Now stop bothering me. I have more important things to do than chatting with you. And stay away from those three boys if you know what is best for you.”  _

_ The mirror changed back to normal and Sirius sunk down to his knees. _

_ “Look how low the mighty Black has fallen.” _

_ Then he shot up again when James started to bang on the door again.  _

_ “Sirius! Hurry up, mate! We are hungry and I need to brush my teeth before we leave” _

_ Sirius quickly lifted the spell and shouted back.  _

_ “Shut up, you jerk! You’ll get to fix your hair in a moment!”  _

_ James must’ve kicked the door because he swore and shouted back with frustration: _

_ “Shut up, Sirius! This is natural beauty.”  _

_ Sirius smirked and quickly combed his hair before he unlocked the door and came out. James playfully shoved him onto the nearest bed and went into the bathroom. Sirius glanced over to the two others. Peter was chuckling but Remus face was the one that worried him. The boy looked at him with worry and for a split second, Sirius had an odd feeling that he was looking into a wolf’s eyes. But then the boy smiled and his eyes seemed to shift back to normal. It was quick and Sirius smiled back.  _

Severus was the first one to speak this time. 

“The hat gave you a choice?” 

Sirius opened his mouth and it was evident that he was going in for an argument. But then something odd happened. Remus growled quietly:

“Black.” 

Sirius looked over to him with big eyes. Another growl and he lowered his eyes. Then he looked up and his expression was calm. 

“Yeah. It did. My entire family was in Slytherin. It wanted to put me there. But I asked to be put in Gryffindor because I knew that James would be there.” 

Snape raised his eyebrows. 

“Slytherin, huh? And to think that I could have had the misfortune to be in the same dorm as you for seven years.” 

Sirius eyes flashed and even Remus warning growl didn’t stop him from making a disgusted face. 

“Trust me. I would never have wanted to share the dorm with a slimy git like you.” 

Remus sighed and pointed at the screen. 

“There was something I wanted to ask you about that one, Sirius. Why were you looking at me like that? You never explained it.” 

Suddenly, Sirius looked a bit uncomfortable. 

“Well. I did tell James. I thought he would tell you. I… I kinda had a strange feeling that I was being watched by a wolf. Almost as if you could see it all. Every lie.” 

“Oh.” 

Remus frowned and looked down at the table. And Molly took over the questioning. 

“Your father. He didn’t seem so bad. He was pretty calm all the time.” 

Sirius barked out a quick laugh. 

“Yeah. That was him at his most dangerous. That man almost never raised his voice. It was mother’s way of dealing with things. Father. He was always calm. Even when he was beating me. He never lost his calm.” 

Snape glanced over to the wall and then back to the man. 

“Psychological and emotional manipulation?” 

Sirius nodded. 

“Yeah. He knew what to say, how to say it and when to say it. And that voice. God, how I hated to hear him being disappointed. At least when I was younger. I feared the man and loved him at the same time. In my eyes, he couldn’t be the bad one. At least not when I was younger. It changed later. When I realized things.” 

Arthur took a deep breath, before he asked:

“Why did you repeat that Black’s falling sentence?” 

Real sadness appeared in Sirius eyes and his voice changed into a pained one when he whispered:

“Look how low the mighty Black has fallen.” 

He closed his eyes for a few seconds before he continued. 

“It was a phrase my grandfather loved to use. After he left me bloody and broken in the cellar. When I was too weak to get back up. It meant giving up. It meant being weak. We were the Black’s. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Toujours Pur. We never showed weakness. Nightmares were the worst. A Black should be the center of other’s nightmares. Not have nightmares and wake up shaking.” 

“You were a child!” 

“I was a BLACK!”  

Molly’s eyes widened at that statement. 

“Is it really so hard to understand?! I was, am and will always be a Black. It will never change. Once you have something beaten into you, you won’t change your views that easily.” 

Remus caught up on that before any arguments could start. 

“This next part will explain it a bit more.” 

And suddenly, Sirius looked as if he was going to panic. 

“Don’t. Remus, whatever you do, do not show them that part.” 

And, when Remus just kept looking at him he lowered his head a bit. 

“I’m begging you, Remus. Not that one.” 

Something in the werewolf’s eyes softened. 

“Don’t beg, Sirius. They need to understand.” 

After a moment, the animagi nodded and Remus waved his hand at the wall. 


	3. Mudblood

_ Sirius, James, Peter and Remus were sitting in the corridor talking when a red-headed girl went over to them. James eyes widened a bit and Sirius smirked at that. The girl smiled softly.  _

_ “Hello. I’m Lily Evans. First year. I’m in Gryffindor too. Could you maybe help me?”  _

_ James smiled widely and stood up.  _

_ “Of course, beautiful. I can help you.”  _

_ She raised her eyebrows at him and Remus dragged him down onto the bench again.  _

_ “Sorry for that moron. I’m Remus Lupin. What do you need help with?”  _

_ James looked a bit offended at being called moron but couldn’t even tear his eyes from her for a second, to look over to Remus. Next to them, Sirius and Peter were trying not to laugh. Lily gave them an annoyed glance before she looked back to Remus.  _

_ “I’m looking for my friend. Severus Snape. He’s a first year too. Slytherin. He told me all about Hogwarts before we got here. I’m a muggleborn and I didn’t know that magic even existed. But, either way, I’m getting off topic. I was supposed to meet him near the library but I’m completely lost.”  _

_ Remus stood up and took out a bit of muggle paper and a pen. Lily smiled widely seeing those items. He quickly drew a small map and handed it to her.  _

_ “Here. Just follow this and you should get there.”  _

_ “Thank you, Remus.”  _

_ She took the paper and ran off. The other three boys stood up, Peter and Sirius finally bursting out laughing.  _

_ “You should have seen your face James.”  _

_ Sirius looked after Lily and shrugged.  _

_ “You know what? I’m not going to say anything. She does look good. For a mudblood…”  _

_ He didn’t get to finish, because James fist collided with his face just seconds later. It was so unexpected that he got knocked off his feet. He looked up at James with wide eyes.  _

_ “What the…”  _

_ Once again, James interrupted, this time with words.  _

_ “Don’t you dare calling her that. God, I was so stupid. My father warned me to stay away from the Blacks. I should have listened. Gryffindor or not, you are just like all the others. A snake.”  _

_ Before he managed to say anything else, Sirius got up and started to run. His nose was bleeding but he ignored it just as he ignored Peter shouting his name. Remus turned to James but the boy had already stormed off into another direction. Peter sighed and pointed at where Sirius had ran.  _

_ “I’ll go talk to Sirius. Think you can take care of James?”  _

_ Remus nodded and the two boy’s split up. Peter, even though he was small and chubby, had good experience with running away from bullies and was quite quick. He caught up with Sirius and grabbed his sleeve.  _

_ “Sirius, wait!”  _

_ The young Black turned around with fury in his eyes.  _

_ “What?! Anything else to add?! Because I think dear mister Potter summed it up perfectly!”  _

_ Peter sighed.  _

_ “Can you please stop shouting?”  _

_ Sirius took a calming breath and tilted his head.  _

_ “Talk. Now.”  _

_ There was something commanding in his voice. Almost like it had been in his father’s voice before. Peter lifted one eyebrow.  _

_ “Don’t command me around. I’m your friend. Not a family member.”  _

_ At that, Sirius looked positively shocked.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ Peter sighed again.  _

_ “I know, okey? I know. My real father was a pureblood. I have no idea why he got together with my mother, since she was a muggle. But he did. She got pregnant. I was born. But when I didn’t show any magical abilities by the age of four, he left me and my mom. He said that he didn’t want a squib in his family. She married a muggle, Justin Pettigrew, and he adopted me. But I know how it is. I know how it works in pureblood families. Maybe not all of it. I had a muggle mother. I got some years to be a kid. But I know how it is to have rules beaten into you. I know how it is to fear that your next step might be your last. I know how it is to not know better. So please, let me help you. Remus is explaining everything to James right now. Let’s go back and talk to him.”  _

_ Sirius tilted his head again, almost like a curious dog. His eyes had softened during Peter’s speech and he was looking at the boy with curiosity.  _

_ “But I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?”  _

_ “You called her a mudblood. But let me guess that it is the only word you know.”  _

_ Sirius nodded.  _

_ “Yeah. That’s what they are called. That’s the only thing they have been calling people like her in my house.”  _

_ “That’s not good.”  _

_ Both boys turned around to see James and Remus standing behind them.  _

_ “Have you ever thought about the meaning behind it?”  _

_ Sirius shrugged.  _

_ “It’s a word. What else is there to it?”  _

_ James took a deep breath, visibly restraining himself from punching him again.   _

_ “Think about the meaning. What does the word mean?”  _

_ Sirius frowned and started to softly murmur.  _

_ “Meaning. Meaning. Mudblood. Mudblood. Mud blood. Mud in blood. Dirty blood.”  _

_ And suddenly, his eyes widened.  _

_ “Oh my God. Dirty blood. It means that someone has dirty blood.”  _

_ Remus nodded.  _

_ “And let me give you an example now. If I cut your hand, what color will your blood have?”  _

_ “Red.”  _

_ Sirius didn’t even have to think about that for more than a split second. He had seen his blood often enough to know. Remus smiled and nodded.  _

_ “And if I cut Lily’s hand. What color will the blood have?”  _

_ This time Sirius had to think. He frowned and looked behind him, almost as if he wanted to shout for Lily to come back and show him her blood. But in the end he decided that it couldn’t be different because that would be odd.  _

_ “Red.”  _

_ Remus nodded again.  _

_ “And what conclusion do you draw from this?”  _

_ The Black closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, there was some sort of understanding there.  _

_ “There is no difference. Her blood is just like mine.”  _

_ Then he frowned and asked quietly: _

_ “But what am I supposed to call her then?”  _

_ “Muggleborn. That’s the correct term. Mud… Well, you know what I mean. It’s used as an insult. Mostly by people who think they are better than others.”  _

_ Sirius kept frowning.  _

_ “But… Some people ARE better than others.”  _

_ Remus looked a bit put off so James took over.  _

_ “How?”  _

_ “Their blood status. Their family. The people they associate with. Dark wizards and witches also get further in life.”  _

_ James got an angry glint in his eyes.  _

_ “They do? How? By torturing and killing people? By treating others like dirt? By throwing members of their family out? My MOTHER was a Black. Before she married my father and her family threw her out because they were associating with muggles.”  _

_ And Sirius suddenly looked as if he understood.  _

_ “Blood traitors.”  _

_ James grabbed him and slammed his back against the wall.  _

_ “What did you call me, Black?”  _

_ For a second it was quiet. Neither Remus or Peter dared to move. Then James leaned a bit closer to Sirius.  _

_ “Ever since I heard my parents talk about it, I’ve hated everything that has to do with the name Black. But I was willing to give you a chance. Because you seemed different.”  _

_ He then let go of the boy and moved away. Sirius was frozen to his spot. The other three waited. In the end he looked up and said quietly: _

_ “They are my family, James.”  _

_ The anger slowly faded from James eyes. He sighed heavily.  _

_ “I know. Just… Try to not act like a jerk.”  _

_ He said it almost like a question and Sirius grasped at the opportunity.  _

_ “Like you?”  _

_ They smiled and it was fine. They turned around and started to walk away bickering over if Lily Evans liked James. Then Sirius stopped, turned around and smiled to Peter and Remus.  _

_ “You two coming? We’ll be late for the next lesson. It’s with the slytherins. I want to see that Severus.”  _

_ Peter frowned.  _

_ “Why?”  _

_ An evil grin appeared on Sirius face.   _

_ “To see if James has a chance with Evans or if the slytherin will win.”  _

_ James tried to push him but Sirius took off down the corridor. James followed, cursing like a sailor. Remus raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “These two will be hard to split up.”  _

_ Then he became more serious and said quietly: _

_ “We’ll have to keep an eye on Sirius. He’s from the most pure wizarding family that exists. There are many things that he will do wrong. We’ll have to keep an eye on him.”  _

_ Peter nodded.  _

_ “And on James language. Honestly Remus, where did he learn all that?”  _

_ Just then, they heard professor McGonagall’s voice screaming from the next hall:  _

_ “POTTER! WHAT KINDA LANGUAGE IS THAT?!”  _

_ Sirius laugh could be heard seconds later.  _

Snape took a deep breath. 

“At least you didn’t say it to her face.” 

Sirius looked at him in confusion. 

“What?” 

“You didn’t… Not like me. And you didn’t know. You didn’t understand it.” 

The Black frowned. Next to him, Remus smiled at Snape, encouraging him to go on. 

“Wait a second. You’re… Making up excuses for me? I… This has to be the weirdest day in my life. And I thought my father trying to put uncle Alphard over his knee was at the top.” 

Molly actually choked on her saliva when she heard that. 

“Your father did WHAT?” 

Sirius shrugged. 

“He was drunk. It was one of the parties. He had too much to drink. Uncle Alphard spit him in the face. By accident, of course.” 

Then suddenly Harry stood up and marched over to Snape. 

“You knew my mother?” 

Snape looked at him for a moment before he decided to tell the truth . The boy deserved it. 

“Yes. Me and Lily were friends before we got to Hogwarts. We lived not far from each other. We continued our friendship until I made a horrible mistake.” 

Harry frowned. It was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that Snape had been his mother’s friend. 

“I…” 

“It was our fault.” 

Everyone turned to Sirius. 

“Mine mostly, but James wasn’t exactly innocent. He was bored so I found him something to do. Snivellus Snape. We started to go against him. Two on one. Remus didn’t join in on things like that. And Peter always liked to watch more than participate in hexing others. So we got Snape in the air, upside down. And then Lily came. She was furious. Wanted us to put him down and leave him alone. Snape said that he didn’t need help from a mudblood.” 

Harry’s eyes shot over to Snape but he didn’t get a chance to say anything because Sirius continued. 

“Lily rushed off and me and James pulled Snape’s pants off. But from the beginning it was our fault. If we hadn’t pushed him so far, he would never had said it.” 

Snape rolled his eyes. 

“I was hanging out with Death Eaters, Black. It would have happened sooner or later. But it was good that it happened then. At least I had enough mind to go to her and apologize.” 

Harry glared at him for a moment, before he went back to sit with Ron and Hermione. Meanwhile, McGonagall was still staring at Sirius. 

“You… Really believed that?” 

Sirius nodded slowly. 

“I was raised thinking that it was the only right thing. It’s not like I had so many other choices. But I learned my lessons later. Mostly from James fists.” 

Seeing that Molly wanted to say something about that, Remus quickly waved his hand towards the wall. Sirius glanced over at the werewolf and smiled gratefully. To be honest, Molly was sometimes getting on his nerves. 


	4. Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not writing for so long time. Much has happened and I wasn't able to write. But now I'm back. Enjoy.

_ The four boys were sitting at the table, eating, when Peter and James, who were sitting across from Sirius and Remus, froze completely. The other two turned around, only to see a 14 year old girl standing there. Next to her was Malfoy, his two gorillas, a girl who looked almost identical to the 14 year old, just a year younger, and a beautiful blonde twelve year old girl. They had all Slytherin colors on them and the rest of the boy’s quickly understood that they were there for Sirius. The entire Gryffindor table was looking at them with interest. Even the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were glancing over now and then. The teachers went on with their conversations but it was obvious that they were keeping an eye on everything that was happening. Sirius slowly stood up and tilted his head, once again looking like a confused puppy. The oldest girl smiled.  _

_ “Siri. Why don’t you come over and sit with us? I think you’ve had your fun already. It’s soon Christmas.”  _

_ Sirius straightened his head and shrugged.  _

_ “So what, Bella?”  _

_ Bellatrix took a step closer.  _

_ “You know what, Siri. You shouldn’t be doing this in the first place. It’s wrong. They will give you so many ideas. About us being the bad ones, about them wanting to help you, about mudbloods…”  _

_ “Don’t call them that.”  _

_ Sirius said it almost automatically and, behind him, James smirked. Bellatrix seemed to be shocked.  _

_ “What did you just say?”  _

_ Sirius hesitated. The inner conflict could be seen on his face as he kept his eyes on her. Then he lowered his head and sighed.  _

_ “You won’t tell?”  _

_ Bellatrix smiled softly.  _

_ “You know I won’t. You’re family. Come on. Sit with us.”  _

_ She linked arms with him but before she could drag him away, the three boys stood up. James leaned over the table and said with anger in his voice: _

_ “Hey! Leave him alone.”  _

_ Bellatrix raised one eyebrow.  _

_ “Let me guess. Potter.”  _

_ He nodded while Sirius softly tugged at the girl’s arm.  _

_ “Come on Bella. Just leave him. Please.”  _

_ She pushed him towards Malfoy, who put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to the other slytherins. To the three gryffindors it was clear that it was not a friendly hug. Malfoy was making sure that Sirius stayed with him. Bellatrix went back to the table and faced James.  _

_ “Get lost, Potter. You don’t understand anything.”  _

_ “What is it I don’t understand? That you are a heartless bit…”  _

_ “James!”  _

_ Potter glanced over to Sirius, who now had something dangerous in his eyes. Remus grabbed James arm to calm him down but it didn’t seem to work. He got up on the bench and jumped over the table. Bellatrix smirked.  _

_ “What are you going to do, Potter? Hit me? Call me some more things?”  _

_ James drew his wand but before he could do anything, Sirius had moved in front of her. He looked at James with anger.  _

_ “Put your wand down.”  _

_ That ordering tone appeared in his voice again but James just glared at him. McGonagall and Slughorn were hurrying over to them when, suddenly, Remus stepped in between the two boys and pretty much growled: _

_ “Stand down. Both of you. Sirius, we have potions in ten minutes so we better hurry up.”  _

_ Sirius glanced over to James, then to Peter, and stormed off in the end. Peter sighed and ran after him. James looked frustrated but grabbed his bag and went out too. Remus turned to Bellatrix.  _

_ “Stop messing with his head.”  _

_ He then turned away from her and followed James. About halfway to the dungeons, someone grabbed his arm. He spun around and was shocked to see Bellatrix. A very furious Bellatrix.  _

_ “What are you doing? Don’t you understand that he can’t hang out with you?”  _

_ The young werewolf frowned.  _

_ “Why? We are his friends.”  _

_ She let out an angry sigh.  _

_ “Yes. But at the end of the day, he’ll go back home to his parents. And they will not be happy to see him if he continues as he does.”  _

_ Remus looked around to make sure that they were alone and then asked quietly: _

_ “So they abuse him?”  _

_ Bellatrix looked suddenly very uncomfortable.  _

_ “He wouldn’t call it abuse if you asked him.”  _

_ “I’m asking you.”  _

_ For a second she got an amused smirk on her face.  _

_ “You know, not many people dare to talk like that to me. I can see now, why Sirius actually listens to what you say.”  _

_ Remus shrugged.  _

_ “I just don’t like to take shit from others. However aristocratic they are.”  _

_ She nodded.  _

_ “I see. Well. As I said. Sirius wouldn’t call it abuse. He doesn’t see it as abuse. In his eyes, his father can do nothing wrong. Sirius has been beaten. Hurt. Almost tortured at a few points. But he will never admit to it.”  _

_ Remus frowned and looked around again. The hallway was still empty so he asked quietly: _

_ “Why not?”  _

_ Bellatrix smiled softly.  _

_ “Ask him. He’ll tell you. Out of all of you, he seems to give you the most respekt. Just tell him these words: Look how low the mighty Black has fallen. Tell him I told you. He can’t ever be too mad at me.” _

_ Remus tilted his head.  _

_ “What’s that supposed to mean?”  _

_ The girl just shook her head.  _

_ “Ask him. I have to go. I shouldn’t be seen with mudbloods.”  _

_ She started to walk away but then stopped and looked back to Remus.  _

_ “If he decides to stay with you, take good care of him. Sirius isn’t like the rest of our family. Just keep an eye on him.”  _

_ He nodded.  _

_ “We will.”  _

_ Bellatrix smiled and went away. Remus looked around and frowned. A second later, James appeared from behind the corner.  _

_ “I heard everything.”  _

_ The young werewolf nodded.  _

_ “I guessed that.”  _

_ They stood in silence for a few seconds. Then James sighed.  _

_ “I think it will be better if you talk to him. I have a feeling that he is mad at me right now.” _

_ Remus raised one eyebrow.  _

_ “Nah. I doubt you two can be really mad at each other. Just talk to him.”  _

_ James hesitated but nodded and they started to walk towards the dungeons. Outside the classroom stood their class. Sirius and Peter were standing a bit away from them. Sirius looked positively furious but it didn’t seem to bother Peter. The short boy stood with his arms crossed and a frown. When they came closer, they heard what Sirius was ranting about.  _

_ “It’s not like it’s my fault. They are my family! I can’t just leave them. It’s not like I have so many other choices. And they aren’t that bad. Mother screams sometimes and father beats me up but it’s not like it’s that unusual. I’m guessing that only a few of the kids in Hogwarts haven’t been beaten up. It’s not like they are abusing me. It’s for my own best.”  _

_ Peter sighed.  _

_ “Just drop it Sirius. James won’t understand. He’s from a different home.”  _

_ Sirius closed his eyes.  _

_ “I just… I can’t believe he was going to call her… that.”  _

_ James dropped his head a bit. Then he went over to Sirius and smiled.  _

_ “Sirius?”  _

_ The Black spun around to face him.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “I’m sorry.”  _

_ For a second, Sirius looked completely confused. Then he frowned.  _

_ “You’re sorry?”  _

_ James nodded.  _

_ “Yeah. I was way out of line. They are your family, mate. I had no right to try to call her that. Are you very mad?”  _

_ Sirius raised one eyebrow and then smirked.  _

_ “Nah. We’re good. Just don’t do it again.”  _

_ James smirked back at him.  _

_ “I won’t.”  _

_ Then he glanced to the rest of the class and he got an evil glint in his eyes.  _

_ “Look there.”  _

_ Sirius turned around and something dangerous appeared in his eyes. Next to them, Remus and Peter sighed. They knew what was coming.  _

_ “Snivellus.”  _

_ Sirius looked around with a grin but it disappeared when he noticed the girls.  _

_ “Nope. Not here. Evans.”  _

_ James frowned.  _

_ “So what?”  _

_ Both Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes.  _

_ “You want her to like you or not? It won’t work if you keep attacking her best friend.”  _

_ James just shook his head.  _

_ “It’s not like that. He’s a slytherin. I’m just making her realize that.”  _

_ Then he drew his wand and started to walk towards the slytherins. Sirius sighed but followed just a step behind. He didn’t draw his wand but, as they all knew by this time, he didn’t need it.  _

The clip ended and Harry turned to Sirius. 

“You and dad attacked Snape? Without any reason?” 

Sirius sighed. 

“I’m not saying that I’m proud of what we did but I’m also not going to make up excuses for us. What we did to Snape in school was horrible. At least the things we did when we were younger. He didn’t have the same knowledge as James or the training that I had gotten at home. But James was set on making his life a living hell only because Lily liked Snape more than James. And I couldn’t just let him get in trouble alone.” 

“But not all of it was Potter’s ideas.” 

Snape’s voice was angry and Sirius briefly closed his eyes and shook his head. 

“No. Not all of it. Not later on. That one was on me, and me only. When we came back… I actually thought that James and Peter would kill me. And then Remus came back and refused to talk to me. It served me right. I could have turned into a killer that night. Serial killer since Remus would most probably be executed for killing you.” 

Remus snorted. 

“Trust me, Black, if I had killed him, you would be the second body they found that night.” 

Sirius just nodded, accepting that. Molly opened her mouth to say something but quieted when Snape spoke up again. 

“One more thing, Black. Was that Bellatrix?” 

Sirius nodded. 

“Bellatrix Lestrange?” 

He nodded again. And finally, Molly got to speak. 

“That crazy witch?” 

Something in Sirius face changed. He got cold and they were all struck with how much he looked like his father. 

“Bella is not crazy.” 

His voice was low and dangerous. Molly’s eyes widened. 

“Not crazy? Don’t you remember Alice and Frank?! How she tortured them until they lost their minds?!” 

Sirius flew up from his seat. 

“Don’t you dare saying anything about her. It wasn’t her fault.” 

Molly stood up too. 

“Not her fault?! So she wasn’t the one that cast the crucio?! She wasn’t the one that held the wand?! Oh, maybe you will try to tell me that she was under an imperius?!” 

Suddenly, Sirius made a slashing gesture and Snape fell onto the floor. His eyes were full of pain and he was shaking. A few seconds later it all stopped. Snape was looking at Sirius with wide eyes while the Black stepped closer to Molly. The woman took a step back and stopped when she hit the table. 

“You better watch your mouth in this house, Molly. Not everything that the news said about me back then was lies. And in here I can do whatever I want without the Ministry knowing.” 

He then turned to Remus who had now stood up. 

“Don’t say anything, Remus. I’m tired of this. This is my house. You are here only because I’m allowing it. And still, you treat me like a prisoner. Even you.” 

Then, before anyone said anything, he turned to Snape, who was now sitting in his chair again. 

“I’m sorry about that. But, excluding me, you are most probably the only one in here that wouldn’t make a bit scene of a small cruciatus.” 

To everyone’s surprise, Snape just nodded. Sirius sat down again and seemed to actually relax. He glanced over to a big mirror that was hanging on one of the walls and snorted. 

“Don’t look so satisfied.” 

They all turned to the mirror and noticed with shock that it wasn’t a mirror at all. It was a painting, painted so perfectly that it looked almost as if it mirrored the kitchen. They had all thought that they couldn’t see each other in it because it was enchanted in some way but now they understood. On the painting was Orion Black. He was smiling at Sirius and some of them felt chills go up their spines when they saw that smile. 

“You’re finally starting to act like a Black. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Just shut up. It’s enough that I have to deal with mother dearest on a daily basis. I don’t need you ruining my life too.. Remus. Why don’t you play the next one? I think we all agree that it is the best plan right now.” 

Remus, completely shocked, just waved his hand towards the wall. 


	5. Parent's Day

_ Sirius and Remus were sitting in the common room when James and Peter came in running. They were still in their first year. James fell onto the sofa next to Sirius and almost screamed in his ear:  _

_ “I have news!”  _

_ Sirius put down the book he was reading and rolled his eyes.  _

_ “I’m not deaf. I can hear you perfectly well.”  _

_ Peter sat down on the carpet and tried to catch his breath. Meanwhile, James kept talking, now in a lower voice.  _

_ “I overheard McGonagall and Dumbledore talking about Parent’s Days. It’s next week. Are your parents coming?”  _

_ Sirius froze next to him but he didn’t seem to notice it. And Peter had already started to talk.  _

_ “Yeah. My mom and dad are muggles. They will love Hogwarts. They were so excited when I started to do accidental magic.”  _

_ Remus nodded.  _

_ “My mom is a muggle too. Dad was a wizard but he liked to do things the muggle way so she didn’t see so much magic at home. And he died when I was five so she is looking forwards to this.”  _

_ James smiled widely.  _

_ “My parents are coming too. Mum was a slytherin and dad was a gryffindor. But she wasn’t like the other slytherins. She was cool. And she wants to see our tower. How about your parents Sirius?”  _

_ Sirius had by now calmed down. He shrugged and reached for the book again.  _

_ “I don’t think so. They were in slytherin and I doubt they will step a foot inside Gryffindor Tower.”  _

_ Peter and Remus looked at him with concern but James didn’t seem to notice anything.  _

_ “Come on. It can’t be that bad.”  _

_ Sirius snorted.  _

_ “Yeah. It is.”  _

_ He then stood up and put the book in his bag.  _

_ “I’m going to the library. I have to leave some of my books or the librarian will rip my head off. You wanna come with me Pete?”  _

_ Peter nodded and stood up. Sirius ignored James as he walked past him and left the common room. Peter simply followed him. They were halfway to the library when Sirius started to talk.  _

_ “They will hate me, right?”  _

_ Peter frowned.  _

_ “Who? Your parents?”  _

_ Black shook his head.  _

_ “No. Not mine. James. His mother is a Black but was more or less disowned when she married Henry Potter. She must hate everything that has to do with my last name.”  _

_ The smaller boy sighed.  _

_ “She won’t. I’m sure about that. You aren’t like your parents.”  _

_ Sirius raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “How do you know that?”  _

_ Peter smiled softly.  _

_ “You don’t act like an aristocratic jerk with a stick in your ass.”  _

_ Sirius burst out laughing. His laugh sounded a bit like a dog barking and his head tilted a bit back.  _

_ “Oh, dear. You’re not afraid to say what you think.”  _

_ Peter’s smile widened.  _

_ “What? It’s the truth. You’re not like that. You’re nice.”  _

_ They continued walking down the corridor. A few seconds later they heard quick footsteps behind them and, when they turned around, they noticed James and Remus running after them. James ran full speed into Sirius and they ended up in a very crushing half-hug. Remus, who had slowed down earlier, came to a stop next to Peter. They both rolled their eyes at the other two boys.  _

_ “You literally just saw each other.”  _

_ James smirked.  _

_ “What? Can’t I miss my Siri-Bear?”  _

_ Sirius punched his arm.  _

_ “Hey!”  _

_ Then his smile turned evil and he said calmly.  _

_ “You know what? From today on I’ll call you Jamesie-Poo. In front of Evans.”  _

_ James eyes widened and he attacked Sirius, who just laughed and jumped to the side.  _

_ “Don’t you dare, Black!”   _

_ They kept pushing each other the entire way to the library, where they were quickly hushed by both Remus and the librarian. Sirius left the books and, after Remus had borrowed a few books, they left quickly. After a short walk, Sirius took Remus books and put them in his own bag. Remus smiled at him.  _

_ “Thanks.  _

_ Sirius just nodded.  _

_ “It's fine. I know what date it is.”  _

_ Remus paled but before he could say anything, James pointed down the hall.  _

_ “Look. It's Evans.”  _

_ He started to walk towards her and Remus gently pushed Peter after him.  _

_ “Go make sure that he doesn't make a complete fool out of himself. Me and Sirius have to go leave our books in the dorm. We'll meet up with you outside.”  _

_ Peter nodded and hurried after James. Remus grabbed Sirius arm and started to drag him in the other direction. Sirius followed without a word. A few turns later, Remus pushed a door open and dragged Sirius into an empty classroom. He slammed the door shut and turned to Sirius.  _

_ “You know?”  _

_ Sirius nodded.  _

_ “Yeah.”  _

_ For a long moment they were quiet. Then Remus sighed and leaned against the door.  _

_ “Have you told anyone?”  _

_ Sirius smiled softly, went over to Remus and hugged him.  _

_ “I'm not telling anyone. I promise.”  _

_ And Remus started to sob.  _

_ “But… How? How did you figure it out?”  _

_ Sirius hugged him closer.  _

_ “Shhh. Take it easy. You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Everything will be alright.”  _

_ He kept repeating it until Remus calmed down and stopped crying. Sirius led him over to a desk and Remus sat down on it.  _

_ “My father told me about werewolves when I was younger. I connected the times you were away with the full moon. There was a possibility that your mother was a werewolf. But then she would need you after the full moon. Not during it. So it didn’t really make sense. Then I realized that it wasn’t your mother that was ill every month. It was you.”  _

_ The young werewolf lowered his head.  _

_ “Do you want me to move out of the dormitory?”  _

_ Sirius looked positively shocked.  _

_ “What? No! Why would I?”  _

_ “Because I’m a monster.”  _

_ Black shook his head.  _

_ “You’re not a monster Remus. You accepted me, even though I called Evans a mudblood and kept saying things that hurt all of you. Even though I am a wild card that could turn against you at any second. Why should I not accept you for who you are. Because that is what it is, Remus. It’s a part of you. And you’ll never be truly happy until you accept it.”  _

_ Remus looked up at him with tears in his eyes and Sirius sighed quietly.  _

_ “I swear, you cry more than Narcissa, and that girl can really cry.”  _

_ He enveloped Remus in another hug.  _

_ “I won’t tell the others. But James and Peter would understand. I promise you that. But I’ll just wait until you tell them yourself.”  _

_ Remus smiled softly while Sirius continued.  _

_ “And in the meantime, I’ll try to make your life easier before and after the full moon. So if there is something you want or need, just tell me.”  _

_ Remus smirked.  _

_ “Chocolate.”  _

_ The black haired boy nodded.  _

_ “Sure thing. That shouldn’t be too hard to find. I’ll fix it later. But we should really hurry up. I’m not sure why McGonagall decided to take this lesson outside but I would rather not be late.”  _

_ He picked up the bag that he had dropped when he hugged Remus, and opened the door. Remus followed him with a smile on his face.  _

The clip ended and Dumbledore looked over to Sirius with something like shock. 

“I was under the impression that the three of you found out about Remus in your second year.” 

Sirius shrugged. 

“As I told Remus, I had been told about werewolves at a very young age. I would be ashamed of myself if I figured it out first in second year.” 

Hermione tilted her head and asked from where she was sitting:

“What was that Parent's Day? “

Sirius sighed and turned to her. 

“One of the most stupid traditions in the school. Fortunately, it was taken down and forgotten after the first orphans of war started to attend Hogwarts. Unfortunately, it was still in full working force when I was in my first year.” 

Remus, who had been staring at the wall, rolled his eyes and gently punched Sirius arm. 

“You’re not really giving her any explanation, Siri. As to the day. It was a day when all the first years invited their parents over to the castle. It didn’t matter if the parents were muggle or wizard. Everyone was welcome. They stayed for a few days. Everything depended on when people needed to be back in work. During the stay, the parents stayed in special bedrooms made in the houses that their child was in.” 

Hermione smiled in thanks and Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“As I said, the most stupid tradition ever.” 

Harry glanced over to Orion’s portrait. 

“Did they come?” 

Orion smirked while Sirius closed his eyes briefly. 

“They did. And it was not pretty.” 

Right then, Molly finally found her voice again. 

“Is no one going to comment on Sirius using an unforgivable? Albus?” 

Dumbledore slowly looked from Molly to Sirius. Then he turned to Minerva but no help was coming from her. He turned back to Molly and sighed. 

“I’m not trying to make any excuses for Sirius, but you do realize that Severus uses them as well, right?” 

Molly snorted. 

“It’s different. He has to. Or they would figure things out.” 

Snape rolled his eyes. 

“Just say it Molly. I do it because I’m a deatheater. Why are you trying to act as if that is not a fact?” 

Molly just shrugged. 

“You’re not like them.” 

Sirius sat up straight. 

“And I am?” 

“Don’t ask stupid questions, son. We all know the answer.” 

Sirius turned to his father but seemed to shrink back into his seat when he noticed a dangerous glint in those grey eyes. He understood the message. 

“Just play the next one Remi. The faster you are done, the faster I can go back to trying to destroy their portraits.” 


	6. Parent's Arrive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!  
> 1\. I'm terribly sorry for not updating for so long. Things have been happening and I didn't really have time to write that much. Now, to keep some kind of order to this, I will be updating every friday.  
> 2\. I'm on my way to officially change my name to Morgana. Therefore, my answers to your comments will come under that name.  
> Thank you for sticking around with my story. I love you all.

_ The four boys were sitting in the dining hall when Dumbledore stood up.  _

_ “My dear students. Many of you have been waiting for this day for some time now. So let’s not wait any longer, right?”  _

_ He clapped his hands and the big doors opened. A few happy shouts were heard when a steady stream of parents came into the room. James flew up from his seat and started to look around to see where his parent’s were. Then he suddenly screamed happily and took off towards a tall black haired woman. Sirius snorted.  _

_ “There goes all his tough guy mask.”  _

_ Peter smiled and nodded, only to squeak when he noticed his own parents. He left quickly and Remus glanced over to Sirius.  _

_ “You alright?”  _

_ He nodded.  _

_ “Yeah. There is no way they are here. So there is nothing I have to worry about.”  _

_ Then he noticed how Remus was looking towards the parents and smiled.  _

_ “Go.”  _

_ Remus smiled back at him and rushed off to look for his parents. Sirius sighed and looked down at his food. Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore. He put his fork away and glanced behind him, to the slytherin table. He met Bellatrix’s eyes and she smiled softly. He quickly looked back. He wasn’t going to show them that this affected him. He was a Black. He didn’t need any of these stupid sentimental moments. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. Then, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He waved his hand in a dismissing gesture. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. Then someone behind him huffed and he felt a hit on his shoulder followed by a woman’s startled:  _

_ “James!”  _

_ He quickly turned around. James was standing in front of him with a smirk on his face. Behind him, stood the tall woman. She had a Black’s long black locks, pale skin and grey eyes. But, unlike a Black, her features were soft and she looked calm and friendly. Her husband was a bit taller than her. He had dark brown hair, sticking out into all directions like James always did, and warm brown eyes. James smiled widely.  _

_ “Come on, mate. Say hallo.”  _

_ Sirius slowly stood up and then hesitated. For a moment he and Mrs Potter were just looking at each other. Then, the woman smiled softly.  _

_ “You don’t have to bow.”  _

_ James wrinkled his nose.  _

_ “No, seriously don’t.”  _

_ Mr Potter stuck his hand out towards Sirius. The boy hesitated but then grabbed it.  _

_ “Sirius Black.”  _

_ “Henry Potter.”  _

_ James rolled his eyes.  _

_ “Alright. Alright. No more formalities, alright? Mom, dad, this is Sirius. Sirius, this is mom and dad. Can we eat now?”  _

_ Sirius smirked.  _

_ “Is food really all you think about?”  _

_ James opened his mouth but a voice behind them cut him off.  _

_ “And Lily.”  _

_ They turned around to see Remus standing with a short woman with sandy hair and brown eyes. The young werewolf smiled.  _

_ “He thinks about Lily too. Don’t forget it.”  _

_ Sirius snorted.  _

_ “He doesn’t think about her, he’s obsessed with her.”  _

_ James swung his hand but Sirius managed to duck under it. He smiled towards Mrs Lupin.  _

_ “Hello, Mrs Lupin. I’m Sirius Black.”  _

_ Remus’ mother smiled.  _

_ “I’m Hope Lupin. I’m glad to meet you. Remus has told me about you.”  _

_ There was something in her tone that made Sirius glance over to Remus. The boy nodded slightly and Sirius quickly turned back to Mrs Lupin. _

_ “It’s nice to meet you too.”  _

_ The next few minutes were spent on the parents talking with each other and Mrs Potter keeping a close eye on Sirius. Then, Peter finally came back with his parents. His mother was a short woman with short, blonde hair and blue eyes. The man that came with her, who Sirius knew wasn’t Peter’s biological father, was short too. He had brown hair and brown eyes and was looking anxiously around him. Remus smiled to him.  _

_ “Hello, Mr Pettigrew.”  _

_ The man smiled back.  _

_ “Hello. I’ve heard about all of you from Peter. He can’t stop talking about you.”  _

_ He shook hands with all of them and then put an arm around Peter’s shoulders.  _

_ “This is so fascinating.”  _

_ Mr Potter smiled to him.  _

_ “Excuse me for asking, but are you a muggle?”  _

_ The man nodded.  _

_ “Yes. Me and my wife are muggles.”  _

_ Mrs Potter quickly looked over to Sirius but the boy was doing his best to not get hit by James again. She sighed.  _

_ “James!”  _

_ The boy stopped and Sirius smirked. But before he could say anything, a voice was heard from behind Mrs Potter.  _

_ “Sirius.”  _

_ Sirius froze. His smile fell and he straightened his back. The parents all turned to where Orion Black was standing. Next to him stood Walburga Black. She was a tall, thin woman with long black hair and grey eyes. Her nose was wrinkled as if she was smelling something bad and her eyes were cold. Sirius slowly walked over to his parents.  _

_ “Mother. Father.”  _

_ Orion raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “You seem surprised. Didn’t Bellatrix tell you that we were coming?”  _

_ Sirius looked over to the slytherin table and frowned towards the smiling Bellatrix. He should have known that something was going on. Bella didn’t simply smile at someone without a real reason. He turned back towards his father when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Orion was watching him.  _

_ “We are going to have a long talk about this later.”  _

_ He pointedly looked at the gryffindor tie before he turned his gaze towards the other parents. His eyes stopped at Mrs Potter.  _

_ “Ah. Dorea.”  _

_ The woman nodded.  _

_ “Orion. Walburga.”  _

_ Sirius glanced over to his mother. The woman looked at Mrs Potter with disgust and turned then to Orion.  _

_ “I will go to the Slytherin table and talk to Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda.”  _

_ And she walked away, not saying a word to her son. Orion turned his eyes towards the other parents.  _

_ “Oh. So those have to be the mudbloods.”  _

_ “Don’t call them that.”  _

_ James and Sirius spoke at the same time. And everyone got different directions. Remus and Peter looked horrified. Mrs Lupin, Mr and Mrs Pettigrew seemed to not really understand what was being said. Mr Potter looked proudly at James who was smiling towards Sirius. Mrs Potter looked positively shocked. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened a bit as she was staring at Sirius. Sirius got completely white on his face. His eyes widened and he looked a bit scared before he quickly collected himself and took a deep breath. Meanwhile Orion was looking between the two boys. After a long moment of silence, he slowly said: _

_ “I think that you and me need to have a talk right now.”  _

_ Dorea stepped forward, making a quick decision.  _

_ “Orion. Leave the boy alone.”  _

_ Sirius head snapped toward her. He had shock written all over his face. Orion raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “He is my son, Dorea. I have the right to do whatever I want with him.”  _

_ Somethin hardened on the woman’s face.  _

_ “He is a child!” _

_ And, suddenly, Walburga appeared.  _

_ “A child?! He is a filthy blood traitor!”  _

_ Orion quickly let go of Sirius and grabbed Walburga’s arm.  _

_ “Not here, Walburga. Outside. Sirius, follow us.”  _

_ And he steered the woman towards the door. Sirius glanced over to James.  _

_ “I’ll see you later.”  _

_ And he quickly followed his parents. After slight hesitation, Dorea turned to her husband.  _

_ “I’m going after them. I need to make sure that nothing happens. You stay here.”  _

_ Henry nodded.  _

_ “Just be careful, Dora.”  _

_ She smiled and left.  _

The video ended and Sirius turned to Remus. 

“You have to admit that Sarah was holding it together very well. Especially around so many purebloods. Peter must’ve told her about me and James. I mean, we were as pureblood as pureblood goes.” 

Remus smiled. 

“Yeah. She was really good.” 

“Your mom too. I mean, meeting someone who knew that her son was a werewolf must’ve been pretty stressful for her.” 

Remus nodded and turned to the others. Sirius, seeing it, turned around too. Harry was staring at the wall and Sirius understood. 

“Yeah. Those were your grandparents. Henry and Dorea. The nicest humans in the world.” 

Hermione tilted her head slightly. 

“Did Dorea help you?” 

Sirius winced. 

“Not really. She tried. I’m not taking that away from her. But as I said, no one went against my father. Not even another Black.” 

“I’m actually a bit moved that you think so highly of me.” 

Everyone turned to Orion’s portrait. Sirius snorted. 

“Well, don’t think too highly of yourself now. I still hate you. But the fact is, no one went against you.” 

Orion smirked. 

“Although I have to say that Dorea was being very forceful with trying to talk me out of beating you up.” 

Remus eyebrows shot up.

“What?” 

Sirius looked confused for a moment. Then sudden understanding appeared in his eyes. 

“Oh. Right. I never told you the details of that. Well, she tried to talk my father out of beating me up. He didn’t want to listen to her so she tried to curse him. But, as always, he was quicker.” 

Snape slowly looked over to Sirius. 

“But why did he hate you so much back then? That was before you became a… what was it they called you?” 

Sirius snorted. 

“Filthy blood traitor. Freak. Disgrace. Choose one.” 

“As I said, that was before you got disowned. Why so much hate?” 

The Black rolled his eyes. 

“We are Black’s. Most of us have to hate to feel alright. My parents were one of the worst ones.” 

Snape nodded and they all turned towards Remus. He waved his hand towards the wall and another video appeared. 


	7. Filthy Blood Traitor

_ The four boys were sleeping in their beds. They were still in their first year. Suddenly, Sirius sat up straight and gasped. But he made sure to keep quiet so that the other boy’s wouldn’t wake up. Slowly, he stood up, and left the dorm. He walked quietly down to the common room and sat in front of the open fireplace. One wave from his hand made the fire light up. He sat there, staring into the fire, for around 2 minutes, before Dorea Potter came out of the room that was given to the parents. She froze when she saw the boy. But her frown disappeared quickly and she walked over to him.  _

_ “Hallo, Sirius.”  _

_ The boy looked up at her. For a moment he hesitated, but then he nodded softly.  _

_ “Mrs Potter.”  _

_ Then he turned back to the fire. She sat down on one of the sofas and kept her eyes on the boy. After a moment, Sirius turned to her and tilted his head.  _

_ “Can I help you with anything, Mrs Potter?”  _

_ Dorea smiled.  _

_ “No. I’m good, thank you.”  _

_ And then, once he had turned back to the fire, she asked quietly:  _

_ “How are you?”  _

_ “I’m fine.”  _

_ His voice was calm and collected. She sighed.  _

_ “You don’t have to lie to me, Sirius. Remember that I’m a Black too.”  _

_ “No, you’re not.”  _

_ The words seemed to leave his mouth automatically. His eyes widened a bit, but he didn’t turn away from the fire. Dorea frowned.  _

_ “Excuse me?”  _

_ Her voice was soft. She didn’t seem to be angry or hurt. Just curious. Sirius turned to her.  _

_ “You’re not a Black. You stopped being a Black the same second you married that blood traitor.”  _

_ He wasn’t saying it as insults. Just stating the facts. And that was what made Dorea look at him with concern.  _

_ “Are those really your words, Sirius?”  _

_ The boy shrugged.  _

_ “Does it matter? Those are the facts.”  _

_ “Then why are you still James’ friend? If you think we are blood traitors.”  _

_ Before he managed to answer, she continued.  _

_ “Look. I know, alright? You’re forgetting that I grew up in the Black house. I know what happens when you do something they don’t like. Your father and I are the same age. And your grandfather never really saw any difference between his own children and the other Black children. I know how he can get. And I know that Orion always said that he would follow in his father’s steps.”  _

_ Sirius flew up from his seat.  _

_ “Don’t you dare. My father is nothing like grandfather. He would never hurt anyone.”  _

_ Dorea tilted her head.  _

_ “So all the beatings you get aren’t hurting you? They aren’t abuse?”  _

_ “No! Shut up, you filthy blood traitor! You…!”  _

_ “Sirius.”  _

_ They both turned around to see Orion standing in the door to parent’s room. Sirius quickly walked over to him.  _

_ “Yes, father?”  _

_ Orion smiled softly.  _

_ “However right you are, I think you should take it easy. You need to calm down.”  _

_ Then he raised one eyebrow.  _

_ “Sometimes I wonder if you have gotten your mother’s temper instead of mine.”  _

_ Sirius shrugged and relaxed visibly when Orion put his arm around his shoulders.  _

_ “And as to you, Dorea, I don’t want you to mess up the boy’s mind. He is my son, and I will raise him. Understood?”  _

_ Dorea stood up and walked over to them, so that she was standing straight in front of Orion.  _

_ “Raise him? How? By beating him up every time he does something you don’t like? Are you going to be like your father?”  _

_ Orion sighed.  _

_ “How many times do I have to say this? He is MY son. And I will raise him any way I see fit. You have nothing to do with him.” _

_ Then, before she could answer, he looked down at his son.  _

_ “What do you say about a little trip around the grounds, Sirius?”  _

_ The boy frowned.  _

_ “But, father, we are not allowed to leave the tower after dark.”  _

_ Orion smiled.  _

_ “But you will be with me, right? That means that they can’t say anything. And, to be honest, I would love to see them try to stop us.”  _

_ Sirius grinned and they walked out of the tower, leaving Dorea standing next to the fireplace.  _

Sirius wasn’t looking at anyone. His eyes were closed and he was taking deep breaths. Even Snape knew better than to say anything. But Orion didn’t care about anything. 

“I was really proud of you back then, you know. For once, you acted as a real Black.” 

Sirius slowly opened his eyes and turned to his father’s portrait. And, for a split second, they didn’t see Sirius sitting there. They saw Orion Black. But then, Sirius sighed and the coldness disappeared from his face. Suddenly, he looked very tired. 

“I regretted that for my entire life. To think that my life could have been so different if I had just talked to her instead of insulting her.” 

Orion frowned. 

“And how would it have been different? You think Dorea would have adopted you? You really believe I would allow that? As I told her, you are my son. I wasn’t going to let you go that easily. Have you already forgotten how it went that time when you escaped?” 

Sirius paled a bit and even Remus looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“Sirius? What happened back then? You never told us that.” 

The animagi sighed. 

“I told James. I thought he would tell you.” 

Remus rolled his eyes. 

“It seems that there was much James didn’t tell us about you.” 

Sirius closed his eyes and lowered his head a bit. 

“Yeah. It seems so.” 

Snape turned to Orion’s portrait. 

“Did your father use that kind of manipulation on you too? Or was it your own invention?” 

Orion raised his eyebrows. 

“And why would you care, Snape? I’ve heard much about you. Half blood. Was in love with a mudblood. The only positive thing about you is your choice in life. Death Eater. Although I’m still wondering how they accepted you in. With your background.” 

Snape looked furious while Sirius smirked. Yes, he didn’t like his father, but he was very happy to see Snape being on the receiving end of his mean comments. For some reason, he felt a bit more justified in the way he himself had been acting. But then he remembered all the beatings, all the insults. And he felt anger. 

“Are you ever happy with anyone?” 

Orion frowned. 

“I was happy with you, until you started to go against me.” 

His son rolled his eyes. 

“Just play the next one, Moony. Before I start setting things on fire.” 

Remus nodded and the next memory started. 


	8. Train Home

_ The boy’s were on the train. Remus and James were playing chess. Peter was organizing his cards while Sirius was reading. James threw him a glance and rolled his eyes.  _

_ “Hey, Sirius!”  _

_ The boy looked up.  _

_ “Come here and talk to us. Someone could start thinking that you and Remus have somehow changed bodies.”  _

_ Sirius rolled his eyes and turned his face towards the window. The snow outside was thick and the weather looked as if it would only get worse. They were on their way home. And he wasn’t happy. He knew that he would have to face his parents. James, almost as if he read his mind, smiled softly.  _

_ “Will it be that bad?”  _

_ Sirius shrugged.  _

_ “Not sure. But I went against his direct orders. He won’t go easy on me. That much I know.”  _

_ James frowned.  _

_ “Can’t you just ask if you could come spend the Christmas at my place? I’m sure my parents won’t have anything against it.”  _

_ Black looked at him with disbelief.  _

_ “Are you completely mad, Potter? My father will kill me if I ask about something like that.”  _

_ They quieted again and, after a few minutes, went back to what they were doing before. Half an hour later, Remus stood up.  _

_ “We should most probably change our clothes. I think we’ll be there soon.”  _

_ Everyone nodded in agreement. Quickly they all changed. Remus put on jeans and a too big, thick sweater. James had jeans and t-shirt. On the seat next to him laid a thick winter jacket. Peter wore jeans and a hoodie. Even he had a jacket on the seat next to him. Sirius looked at them and then at his own clothes. He wore black pants, a green shirt and a black cloak over it. He sat down on his seat and picked the book up again. Remus tilted his head a bit to see the front of it. His eyes widened when he noticed what was written on it.  _

_ “Sirius.”  _

_ The boy made a sound to show that he was listening.  _

_ “Um… Is that a fourth year book?”  _

_ Sirius looked up at him, closed his book and read the title. Then he read it again.  _

_ “Yeah. Why?”  _

_ Remus’ eyes widened even more.  _

_ “But… Why?”  _

_ Sirius shrugged.  _

_ “Father wants me to be on top of the class. What better way than to get through all the books up to seventh year?”  _

_ By now, everyone was staring at him. Remus pulled a book out of his bag and stretched it out to Sirius.  _

_ “Can you read this?”  _

_ Sirius grabbed it and opened on the first side. He let his eyes fly over the lines for a moment before he nodded.  _

_ “Yeah. Although I’m wondering why you would read a book about how to tame trolls. In latin.”  _

_ Remus giggled.  _

_ “So that’s what it is about.”  _

_ Sirius frowned.  _

_ “Wait. You didn’t know?”  _

_ The young werewolf shook his head.  _

_ “No. My mom knows that I love to read so, when we went to the Diagon Alley, she went to a second hand store and bought this for me. She, of course, didn’t know what it was about either. Trolls, you say?”  _

_ Sirius nodded. He gently flipped a few sides and his expression got cold.  _

_ “You know what? You should throw this away.”  _

_ Peter tilted his head.  _

_ “Why should Remus throw it away? You said it was about trolls. What could be wrong about that?”  _

_ For a long moment it was quiet. Sirius kept flipping a few pages at the same time and reading small snippets from each of the sides. His expression got more and more dangerous. In the end, he gently closed the book.  _

_ “This is a dark book, Remus. It doesn’t only talk about taming trolls. It talks about taming all magical creatures. Hippogriffs. Fairies. Acromantulas.”  _

_ James’ eyes widened with fear.  _

_ “But… They are dangerous.”  _

_ Sirius nodded.  _

_ “Exactly. Every chapter here seems to follow the same model. First you have a few actually smart ideas about how you could try to tame them. But then it changes into things that you don’t want to go near. Dark, ancient magic. Torture methods. The most common advice seems to be…”  _

_ He opened the book and flipped to the right page.  _

_ “Here it is. ‘The more pain you cause it, the more you’ll break it. And the more you break it, the bigger chance that you will tame it.’ And every chapter ends with the same thing. ‘If you can’t break it, just kill it.’”  _

_ The book was closed again and Sirius looked up at the terrified faces of his three friends. He made a move to hand the book back to Remus, but the boy quickly moved away.  _

_ “No. I don’t want it.”  _

_ Sirius looked down at the book. Then he grabbed his own bag and dropped the book into it.  _

_ “I’ll leave it somewhere in the library at home. I doubt anyone will notice. Not with the amount of dark books we have there. I’ll just have to make sure to put it high enough so that Reg can’t reach it.”  _

_ James frowned.  _

_ “Reg?”  _

_ For a moment, Sirius just stared at him. Then he suddenly realized what was going on.  _

_ “Oh. I never told you. I have a younger brother. Regulus. He is one year younger than us.”  _

_ Peter looked at him in concern.  _

_ “Do your fa… Do they have to… Discipline him?”  _

_ Sirius barked out a laugh.  _

_ “You mean if father ever hit him? No. Merlin, no. Reg is mother’s favorite. If either father or grandfather touched him, she would curse them for the rest of their life. Maybe even kill them. And, to be honest, that’s the only thing me and mother seem to agree on. Neither of us will ever let anyone hurt Reg. That’s just how it is.”  _

_ Before anyone could answer, the train slowed down. Sirius quickly put his own book in the bag and grabbed his trunk. Seeing that, James did the same.  _

_ “Come on, guys. If we wait at the doors, we’ll be out quicker.”  _

_ The other two followed them and, very real, they managed to get off the train first. Grins appeared on their faces when they noticed that Remus’ mother, Peter’s parents and Dorea and Henry Potter stood together. The boys went over there and Sirius looked how his friends were drawn into hugs from their parents. After letting go of her son, Dorea turned to Sirius. She smiled widely.  _

_ “Hallo, Sirius. How are you?”  _

_ Sirius smiled back carefully.  _

_ “I’m fine. Thank you, Mrs Potter.”  _

_ Then he glanced around and, not seeing his parents anywhere, took a step towards her and said quietly:  _

_ “I wanted to apologize, Mrs Potter. For that night. For calling you a blood traitor.”  _

_ Dorea just smiled and drew him into a hug.  _

_ “It’s alright Sirius. I’m not mad at you. I know how life in that house can be.”  _

_ Then she took a step away from him and crouched down to be at the same level as him.  _

_ “Remember Sirius, your family don’t have to define you. Even though you are a Black, you don’t need to be like your father. Be yourself.”  _

_ Sirius looked at her with wide eyes. Before he managed to say anything, Dorea stood up and put her arm around James’ shoulders. The messy haired boy smiled widely towards his friends.  _

_ “Hey, guys. Do you want to come over during the break? You could floo home to me.”  _

_ Peter glanced over to his parents. His mother nodded and he smiled widely towards James.  _

_ “Sure. Just send me an owl when I can come over.”  _

_ Meanwhile Remus and his mother had exchanged a look. Then he smiled and turned back to James.  _

_ “Sure. Just send an owl.”  _

_ James turned to Sirius.  _

_ “And you?”  _

_ The boy sighed.  _

_ “I would love to. But I’m not sure my father will allow me.”  _

_ Then he spotted said man in the crowd and took a deep breath.  _

_ “I’ll see you in Hogwarts.”  _

_ Then he turned around and quickly left. Orion was standing in the middle of the crowd, but no one dared to go too close to him. When Sirius reached him, he was met by a hard stare.  _

_ “May I ask why you were with those people?”  _

_ Sirius paled. He knew he was in deep trouble.  _

The clip ended and Snape turned to Sirius. 

“How bad was it?” 

Sirius immediately understood what he meant. 

“The belt. He went pretty easy on me that time. Most probably because he knew that grandfather was coming home to us a few days later.” 

Arthur frowned. 

“And what did he do? Since you were so scared of him when you were younger.” 

Everyone noticed how Sirius paled and his breathing quickened. Orion smirked from his portrait. 

“Look how low the mighty Black has fallen.” 

Sirius eyes snapped open and he glared over to his father. 

“No. Not anymore.” 

Then he turned back to the others. 

“Grandfather caned me. So hard that he almost broke my spine once. Only aunt Druella’s skillfulness in healing saved me that time.” 

And suddenly Remus eyes widened. 

“Regulus.” 

Sirius flinched but, before he could say anything, Remus continued. 

“He never touched Regulus because you always took the blame. You always stepped in front of him.” 

Sirius nodded slowly. 

“Yeah. I couldn’t let Reg get hurt like that. But why do you bring it up now?” 

Remus took a deep breath and turned to McGonagall. 

“Minerva. Do you remember what Sirius always did when we all got caught? Every single time.” 

The woman frowned, trying to remember. Then her eyes widened just as Remus’ had done. 

“He stepped in front of the rest of you.” 

She quickly turned to Sirius. 

“You thought that we would…? The teachers?” 

Sirius shook his head. 

“No! No. I… To be honest, I never noticed doing that. It was an instinct. We were in trouble. I had to protect them.” 

That was when Hermione got an idea. 

“Sirius?” 

He turned towards her. 

“Is your grandfather’s portrait in this house?” 

Sirius nodded after a few seconds of hesitation. 

“Yes. I put him in the basement. Thought he would appreciate it.” 

Orion snorted. 

“I can assure you that he appreciates it. Especially appreciates the fact that he doesn’t have to see the… people, you bring into this house.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sure about that.” 

Then he turned to Remus. 

“Next one, Moony?” 

The man nodded and the next clip started. 


	9. Home

_ As soon as they arrived at the Grimmauld Place, Orion let go of Sirius’ shoulder. The boy stood still, knowing better than to try to escape. His father took a deep breath and glanced over to where a little boy with black hair and grey eyes was standing. Sirius looked over there and hesitated. But then, Orion nodded. A grin appeared on the older boy’s face and he  quickly walked over to the boy, while Orion headed towards his study. Sirius grabbed the boy and pulled him into a hug.  _

_ “Hey, Reggie.”  _

_ The boy struggled to get away and, after two minutes of holding him in a tight hug, Sirius finally let him escape. Regulus glared at him.  _

_ “How could you?!”  _

_ Sirius tilted his head.  _

_ “How could I what?”  _

_ His little brother frowned.  _

_ “How could you be sorted into Gryffindor?! You traitor!”  _

_ Then he turned around and ran away. Sirius was left standing, frozen to his spot. His eyes were wide open and he was just staring at the spot where his brother had disappeared. But then he shrugged and followed the boy.  _

_ “Reg! Regulus! Wait!” _

_ He caught up to the boy in the hall on the second floor and tackled him. They both fell forward and crashed into a door. Regulus shrieked and the door opened a second later. Walburga Black glared down to her sons.  _

_ “Sirius! What do you think you are doing?! Get off the floor and apologize to your brother! And go talk with your father afterwards!”  _

_ Sirius stood up and opened his mouth to say something back, but then he noticed Regulus’ big eyes and he nodded stiffly.  _

_ “Yes, mother. I apologize for disturbing you. And I’m sorry Regulus, for tackling you.”  _

_ Then he turned around and slowly walked down again. In the main hall, he stopped and took a deep breath.  _

_ “Kreacher.”  _

_ The elf appeared in front of him.  _

_ “Yes, young master Sirius?”  _

_ The boy looked down at the elf with hate.  _

_ “Where is my father?”  _

_ “Master is in his study.”  _

_ Sirius nodded and left, not looking back at the elf. He paused outside the study. Fear flitted across his face before it became blank again and he knocked.  _

_ “Come in.”  _

_ He opened the door and stepped inside. Orion was sitting behind the big desk and looking through some papers.  _

_ “Sit down, Sirius. I have to finish reading this letter first.”  _

_ Sirius walked over and sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk. He was pale, but kept himself together. There was no point in crying. A few minutes later, Orion put the letter away and looked up to his son. Their grey eyes met and he smiled a bit when he noticed the calm expression on his son’s face.  _

_ “You know why you are here. Right, Sirius?”  _

_ The boy nodded.  _

_ “I was sorted into Gryffindor even though the hat gave me the choice to choose between it and Slytherin. I became friends with a bloodtraitor and mugg…”  _

_ He stopped, took a deep breath and corrected himself.  _

_ “Mudbloods. I knowingly went against your orders when you told me to stop spending my time with them. I hexed Malfoy in front of other students. I helped James Potter with tormenting a slytherin.”  _

_ Then he wrinkled his forehead and added slowly:  _

_ “Although he is a halfblood and an idiot.”  _

_ The corners of Orion’s lips twitched slightly but his expression became serious a second later.  _

_ “Yes. I think that would be all. I’ll let that slytherin go. From what I’ve heard his mother is a pathetic witch who doesn’t even dare to stand up to her filthy husband. I am not sure how she could allow that boy to be alive. And I’m going to let you hexing Lucius slip. I’ve talked with Abraxas about this and he told me that Lucius have been acting incorrectly with the etiquette and have been causing trouble. As to James Potter, I’m willing to let that go without punishment too.”  _

_ Sirius eyes widened in shock. Orion nodded.  _

_ “Don’t look so shocked. You being in Gryffindor isn’t something I can change. The rules of Hogwarts are ancient and even I can’t mess with them. You’ll have to stay in that house. And, whether I like it or not, James Potter comes from two ancient families. Blacks and Potters. Out of the entire bunch in there, he is the best candidate to be friends with you. As long as you stay away from his parents, I will not punish you for being friends with him. Your behavior towards Dorea is mainly what makes me believe that you can be trusted to keep to my rules around that boy.”  _

_ Then he took a deep breath and continued with a more serious voice.  _

_ “But there are a few things that I cannot let slip. You choosing Gryffindor over Slytherin is one of them. Those two mudbloods are another. The werewolf is a third.”  _

_ Sirius eyes filled with fear.  _

_ “Father…”  _

_ Orion’s hand went up to silence the boy.  _

_ “Yes, I know. I took the liberty to look up the Lupins since I clearly remembered their name from somewhere. One of Greybacks attacks. There was nothing written about Lupin’s son being bitten, but from the way that boy looks, I came up with my own conclusion. Your reaction confirms it. Now, I will not tell anyone if that’s what you are worried about. Albus Dumbledore must have had his reasons to let that beast into the castle. But I will not have my son spending his free time with a werewolf.”  _

_ Sirius was keeping his eyes on the desk. Even when Orion quieted, he refused to look up.  _

_ “Sirius. Do you understand me?”  _

_ After a moment’s hesitation, the boy nodded stiffly. Orion opened his mouth to continue when his son’s voice stopped him.  _

_ “I understand, father. But I will not leave Remus alone.”  _

_ He looked up, and his eyes were cold.  _

_ “I will not turn away from him. He needs me. He needs friends. People who understand. I apologize, father. But I will not listen to you on this one.”  _

_ For a moment, Orion looked positively shocked. Then he flew up from his place, rushed around the desk, grabbed Sirius’ hair and threw him to the ground.  _

_ “You dare go against me? Are you forgetting who I am?”  _

_ His voice was still calm, but there was madness in his eyes. Sirius stood up from the floor.  _

_ “No, father. I’m not forgetting. But I have my own mind and opinions too. And they don’t always correspond with what you want.”  _

_ Orion shook his head.  _

_ “That Potter. He is the reason for this. I’m taking back my earlier statement. I don’t want you anywhere near that boy. Now ready yourself and stand against the wall. I think it’s time for your punishment.”  _

_ Sirius, still keeping a cold glint in his eyes, shrugged of the cloak and pulled his shirt off. Then he went to stand against the wall, with his hands flat against it. Behind him, Orion opened a drawer and pulled out a belt. Slowly he walked over to the boy and said in an emotionless voice:  _

_ “I think 50 should be enough.”  _

_ And, before Sirius could answer, he swung the belt against his back. Sirius didn’t even flinch, even though the force of the blow pushed him forwards. He got back to his old spot and Orion smiled softly. The blows continued to rain down onto his back. After 20, Sirius let his head fall forwards and his long hair hid his face. After 30 his hands curled into fists. At 36 the blow actually cut into his skin. At 40 Sirius was breathing heavily, his shoulders tense. At 45 his legs shook slightly, but he remained standing. The last five blows were delivered quickly. After that, Orion dropped the belt to the floor and waited. Slowly, Sirius lowered his hands and turned around to face his father. His eyes were full of pain but still dry. Orion nodded.  _

_ “Have you learned your lesson yet?”  _

_ Sirius nodded.  _

_ “Yes. I should have chosen Slytherin. I shouldn’t have became friends with James and let his views get over to me.”  _

_ Orion raised his eyebrows but Sirius just shook his head.  _

_ “I apologize, father, but whatever you do to me will not make me leave Remus. He needs friends right now.”  _

_ For a moment Orion looked as if he would snap. But then he nodded slowly.  _

_ “This talk is not over. But you can go for now. Kreacher will call you down when the food is ready. And try to not upset your mother too much. I need some silence to finish these letters.”  _

_ Sirius bowed his head.  _

_ “Yes, father.”  _

_ He grabbed his clothes and left the room.  _

The clip ended and everyone turned to Sirius. Molly and Minerva had tears in their eyes. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Arthur were shocked into silence. Snape looked as if he was seeing Sirius for the first time. Albus looked sad. Remus, on the other side, was smiling. 

“Thank you, Pads.” 

Sirius grinned towards him. 

“No probs. I told you I was your friend. Nothing he said would change that.” 

Then he turned towards his father’s painting. 

“By the way, did you know that grandfather was coming by? Was that why you went easy on me?” 

Orion shook his head. 

“No, Sirius. I did not know. I was really going to let some of the things slip.” 

Sirius raised his eyebrows. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. Really. However much I disliked the idea of my son hanging around James Potter, he was the best candidate out of the entire bunch.” 

Before Sirius could say anything, Molly spoke up. 

“Why didn’t you report on him, Sirius?” 

The man closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He was really trying not to snap at the woman. But, to everyone’s surprise, Orion was the one who answered her. His voice was annoyed. 

“How stupid are you, woman? No one would have done anything. No one would have dared go against me. And even if they did, they wouldn’t win, and I would find out about Sirius telling someone. And if I found out, my father would no doubt find out too. And, however stupid Sirius might have been sometimes, he would never risk my father getting such a reason to beat him up.” 

“But…” 

This time, Sirius spoke up. 

“Don’t you understand? That man would have killed me. Everyone in the Black family feared him. Even the ones most loyal to the beliefs. Even Bella after she became a death eater.” 

Then he waved his hand towards the wall. 

“This one might explain it to you. But I’m warning you, it’s not pretty. You haven’t seen it Remi. James is the only person who knew.” 

As the new clip started Sirius exchanged a quick glance with his father. In the man’s eyes he saw actual sorrow. And he understood. However cruel and manipulative Orion was, Arcturus Blacks anger wasn’t anything he wished even his worst enemy. 


	10. Arcturus Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bit late. Had a couple of rough days. The next update will be on Friday.

_ Sirius and the rest of his family were sitting in the living room, when Kreacher suddenly appeared in the middle of it. He bowed deeply before the two eldest Blacks and said with a trembling voice:  _

_ “Sir Arcturus have arrived, master. He is waiting in the big living room. And he is very angry.”  _

_ Walburga stood up quickly.  _

_ “Regulus, you stay close to me. Is that understood?”  _

_ The boy nodded and they quickly left the room. Sirius looked over to his father. Orion sighed.  _

_ “Let’s go.”  _

_ They left and, before they walked into the big living room, Orion put a hand on his son’s shoulder. He gave it a quick squeeze before he gently pushed the boy inside and followed him. Before Sirius could even look around, he got a mouthful of black curly hair. He spit it out and put his arms around Bellatrix.  _

_ “Hello Bella.”  _

_ She hugged him tighter and whispered in his ear:  _

_ “He is furious. Be very careful, Siri.”  _

_ And she let him go. Andromeda hugged him immediately after her sister, but she let go of him quickly and continued on to Regulus with a smile on her face. Narcissa approached him slowly. He smiled gently to show her that it was still good between them and she hugged him tightly.  _

_ “Be careful, Siri. He is so mad at you.”  _

_ He nodded into her hair and let go of her. Then he walked over to a beautiful blonde woman, who was looking at him. He bowed before her.  _

_ “Hello, aunt Druella.”  _

_ The woman smiled and pulled him into a hug.  _

_ “Hello, Sirius. It’s nice to see you again.”  _

_ Then she lowered her voice to a whisper.  _

_ “Go greet him. He is furious with you but I think your father might be able to calm things down. Just stay calm.”  _

_ Sirius nodded and turned towards his grandfather. Arcturus was looking at him with fury in his eyes. The boy went forward and bowed before him. Immediately, all the talk in the room quieted down. Orion looked from his son to his father. Sirius straightened up and said in a calm voice:  _

_ “Good Day, Grandfather.”  _

_ Arcturus’ hand tightened on his cane.  _

_ “I want to see you in the basement in two minutes, boy.”  _

_ All the color drained from Sirius’ face. Behind him, Bellatrix, Narcissa and Druella exchanged worried looks. Andromeda just looked at them with a bored expression and turned back to Regulus, who was glancing between her and his mother. Walburga just shrugged and turned back to Andromeda and Regulus. Orion seemed to hesitate. He looked over to his brother, Cygnus. The man frowned at him. For a moment they were just looking at each other and then Orion shook his head and turned back to his son.  _

_ “You heard your grandfather, Sirius.”  _

_ That made the boy move. He nodded stiffly and quickly left the room. He walked out into the hall and down a pair of stairs until he reached a cold stone cellar. There he walked over to a bench, took off his shirt and put it on it. He glanced over to the shackles that were hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room and decided that there was no idea in waiting. He put his hands in them and they snapped closed around his wrists. A minute later, Arcturus walked inside. He nodded shortly when he noticed the boy’s position. Without a word, he walked over to him, raised his cane and brought it down against Sirius’, still red, back. The boy cried out and Arcturus wrinkled his nose.  _

_ “Weak.”  _

_ His next hit was even harder but Sirius managed to keep quiet this time. He took another 10 lashes without a sound. But then he started to whimper. Around 20, the first tears slipped out from under his closed eyelids. At 31, he was crying. After 44, every hit was followed by a scream. Hearing that, Arcturus put even more force behind his hits. They were on 68 when there was a sudden crack, followed by a loud scream, and then silence. Sirius went limp, the shackles being the only thing holding him up. Arcturus frowned. He poked the boy with his cane, but there was no reaction. With a wave of his hand he released the shackles and the boy fell to the floor.  _

The clip ended but, before anyone managed to say anything, Orion spoke up. 

“I think you should see the continuation of this too.” 

He waved his hand and a new clip appeared on the wall. 

_ They were all in the big living room when they heard a terrible scream. Bellatrix and Druella held back Narcissa who tried to rush out of the room.  _

_ “Calm down, Cissy. There is nothing we can do.”  _

_ Orion was pacing the room. Then, the door opened and Arcturus walked inside. He looked over to Orion and said without emotion:  _

_ “I might have killed your son. Walburga, would you be so kind as to lead me to the kitchen? I’m quite hungry.”  _

_ The woman nodded and led the man out of the room, Regulus and Andromeda following them. Druella, Bellatrix and Narcissa had already disappeared through another door. Orion and Cygnus looked at each other. The younger brother shook his head.  _

_ “How can you let this happen, Orion? Sirius is your son.”  _

_ Before the other man could answer, they heard Druella’s scared voice.  _

_ “Cygnus! Orion! Come down here!”  _

_ They exchanged another look before both brothers rushed towards the basement. Orion reached it first and stopped in horror when he noticed his son. Sirius was on the ground, his back twisted in an unnatural way. Bellatrix was holding a crying Narcissa, while Druella was kneeling next to the boy.  _

_ “His spine is broken. I can heal him, but I need to concentrate. And I can’t do it here.”  _

_ Cygnus turned towards Orion. The older brother frowned.  _

_ “What do you expect me to do?”  _

_ His brother quickly grabbed his arm.  _

_ “What do you even mean by that? Your son is DYING, Orion! What else is important right now?!”  _

_ “Father…” _

_ “Damn him!”  _

_ Orion took a step back, hearing his outburst.  _

_ “Don’t you remember when we were younger, brother? You were always the one who stood up to father. Who took the blame for everything, just so that me and Alphard wouldn’t get hurt. Why do you suddenly fear that man so much? Why won’t you stand up for your own son?”  _

_ Orion hesitated.  _

_ “Because father was right. Thanks to all those punishments, I’ve grown strong. People fear and respect me. Unlike you. And I will raise my son the same way.”  _

_ Cygnus pulled his wand out.  _

_ “How? By abusing him?! I will not allow it! I won’t let you do it to him!”  _

_ Orion was reaching for his own wand when Druella’s quiet voice cut in.  _

_ “Orion. Sirius is dying.”  _

_ The man looked from her sad face, to his son’s motionless body. He looked extremely conflicted, before he suddenly nodded sharply. He turned towards his brother.  _

_ “Take him home with you. Take care of him. Tell him that I… No. Tell him that you took him from here. That I didn’t know.”  _

_ Cygnus frowned. In the background, Druella grabbed onto Sirius with one hand, grabbed her daughters hands in the other and disappeared.  _

_ “Rio?”  _

_ The man shook his head.  _

_ “No. Don’t. It’s better this way. Go. Walburga will keep an eye on Andromeda and we’ll deliver her to the train. She doesn’t exactly like Sirius so it will be better if she stays here.”  _

_ Cygnus hesitated. He put his wand away and looked up to his brother.  _

_ “And what about father?”  _

_ Something in Orion’s face changed.  _

_ “Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of him. He won’t come after Sirius.”  _

_ Cygnus nodded with a proud smile and apparated away. Orion shivered slightly at the blood on the ground, before he turned away from it all and headed upstairs with a determined look on his face.  _


	11. It's A Boy

Before anyone managed to say anything, Sirius stood up and turned towards his father. 

“You stood up to grandfather? To protect my ass?” 

Orion frowned. 

“I would like it if you stopped using that kind of language. But yes, I did make it clear to my father that he would not go after you anymore.” 

Sirius shook his head. 

“But how? And why?” 

The others watched in silence, except for Molly’s quiet crying. Orion sighed. 

“Because you are my son, Sirius. Whatever happens. When you were in Gryffindor, when you started rebelling, when you started dating that mudblood, when you ran away, when you were put in Azkaban. You were always my son. And you will always be my son. Whether you like it or not. Just as you’ll always be a Black. Nothing can change that. I might not agree with your life choices, I might even hate you for what you do with this place and your life. But you are my child. And, if the need is there, I will always be on your side.” 

Sirius was stunned. He was staring at the portrait with big eyes and an open mouth. Orion rolled his eyes. 

“Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.” 

Sirius’ mouth snapped shut but he kept staring at the portrait. After a moment, Orion clearly got tired of it. 

“What is it?” 

That seemed to snap Sirius out of it. 

“You never treated Regulus like that.” 

For a moment Orion hesitated. Then he pointed towards the wall. 

“Sit down. There are some things that you need to know. I was going to tell you earlier, but with you in Azkaban, it got pretty hard. And do silence that woman.” 

Arthur sent a glare towards the portrait and pulled Molly closer to him. Snape was looking between Sirius and Orion. Something like regret was slowly forming on his face. Meanwhile, Sirius sat down, too stunned to think about the fact that he was following his father’s orders again, and a new clip appeared on the wall. 

_ A younger Orion was standing in the library when Walburga walked inside.  _

_ “You wanted to talk?”  _

_ He turned towards her and nodded. His eyes were ice cold.  _

_ “I know about your affair with Niles Avery.”  _

_ Walburga opened her mouth immediately, but he put his hand up.  _

_ “Silence. I admitted to what I did, I expected you to be honest with me. We both know that this marriage is not based on love. And we both know that you hate my son. I will give your child my last name and he will be raised in this house. I will not tell anyone. As a thank you for that, I demand that you respect my son and do not try to hurt him. Sirius is my child and he is the heir to this house and the Black fortune. If you ever raise your hand against him, I will punish you severly. Do you understand that, Walburga?”  _

_ The woman nodded.  _

_ “Good. Now go and tell Kreacher to ready a feast. Cygnus is coming over with his family, as well as father and the Malfoys. And keep out of my sight until then. Understood?”  _

_ Once again, she just nodded and left.  _

Everyone was shocked. Sirius waved his hand around. 

“Wait a second. You’re telling me that Reg isn’t your son? He isn’t my brother? Or, I mean, he is my half-brother then, but still. She had an affair?” 

Orion nodded. 

“Regulus is not my son. That is why I never stood up for him when he was in trouble. And that was also why Walburga was so protective of him when it came to me and my father. She knew that if the truth came out, father would kill Regulus for being born outside of the marriage. And she was afraid that I would snap one day and kill him for not being my child. But there is one more thing that you need to see.” 

Suddenly, Remus groaned. Sirius turned towards him immediately. 

“Moony?” 

But he just shook his head. 

“I think I know what it is. And it all makes sense.” 

Sirius stared at him for a moment before he shook his head. 

“You’re making no sense. Alright. Play the next one. The sooner we are done here, the sooner I’ll get to go and take a talk with mother dearest. There are a few things I think I should discuss with her.” 

Orion nodded and waved towards the wall. 

_ Orion was sitting in the library again. Suddenly, the door opened and a younger Druella walked inside. The man stood up and smiled.  _

_ “Druella. What brings you here? Are the girls alright?”  _

_ The woman nodded slowly. She was visibly nervous.  _

_ “Yes. They are great.”  _

_ She paused for a moment before she sat down on a chair and continued.  _

_ “There is something I need to talk to you about, Orion.”  _

_ He nodded and sat down.  _

_ “Do you remember Alphards birthday party? A few months ago?”  _

_ Orion sighed.  _

_ “Druella, please. We agreed to not talk about it again. Cygnus knows. Whatever bad blood that might have been between us has passed. He understands. He loves you, you love him. There is nothing more to this.”  _

_ Druella shook her head.  _

_ “But there is. I… I’m pregnant, Orion. With your child.”  _

_ He dropped the feather he had been turning around in his hands.  _

_ “You’re what?”  _

_ “Pregnant. I am having your child. It’s a boy.”  _

_ For a moment he just stared at her. Then he flew up from his chair and started to pace around.  _

_ “Does Cygnus…?”  _

_ She nodded.  _

_ “I already talked with him. We agreed that you should raise the child.”  _

_ That made him stop dead in his tracks.  _

_ “What? You’re going to give him to me?”  _

_ Druella stood up.  _

_ “He is your son, Orion. Don’t you want him?”  _

_ The man shook his head quickly.  _

_ “No. That’s not what I meant. I just… I didn’t think you would give him away to me, without any problems. I was ready for a fight.”  _

_ She smiled, walked over to him and grabbed his hands.  _

_ “I trust you. And Cygnus trusts you too. And if you ever need our help with raising him, we are just a floo call away.”  _

_ Then her smile faded away and she said with seriousness:  _

_ “But you’ll have to keep an eye on Walburga. She will not accept this that easily.”  _

_ Orion nodded.  _

_ “I’ll take care of her. She will not touch my child. Have you named him yet?”  _

_ She shook her head.  _

_ “No. We decided that it would be best if you do it.”  _

_ He smiled softly.  _

_ “Sirius. Sirius Orion Black.”  _

The clip ended and everyone turned towards Sirius. He was staring straight ahead, not even blinking. Remus gently put a hand on his shoulder, but that didn’t do anything. Orion tilted his head slightly. 

“Sirius.” 

Everyone was shocked by the softness of his voice. Sirius turned towards him. 

“That’s why she hated me, right? And why aunt Druella treated me like one of her own children?” 

Orion nodded. 

“Yes. Walburga hated the fact that her child wouldn’t be the one getting all the family heirloom. Druella… Druella always loved you. You are her son, just as much as you are mine.” 

Sirius turned back to the wall. 

“All this time. I thought that she hated me because of how I was. I wanted her to love me. When I was a little child. It took me time to realize that I would never be on the same level as Regulus. But even then I never suspected…” 

His head snapped back towards his father. 

“Bella was three at that time. Did she know?” 

Orion nodded. 

“Yes. That was why she always treated you like her little brother. Andromeda knew too. She hated you for taking her mother away from her. Even though Druella did her best, she couldn’t really take care of all the girls while she was pregnant. Bella often took care of Narcissa. Andromeda was often over at our house with Walburga. She always wanted a daughter. And later, when Andromeda betrayed her family, I guess she was either still mad at you, or just wanted to spare you the shock. Either way, she kept quiet.” 

“Did Cissy know?” 

Another nod. 

“From what I understood, Bellatrix told her, when she got older and understood that they couldn’t tell you.” 

“You slept with your brothers wife?” 

Everyone turned towards Molly. Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“That would be far from the worst a Black has done, Molly. Back in the days, when they wanted to keep the Black blood clean, siblings would sometimes marry. Sick, but true.” 

Snape turned towards the portrait. 

“How did you conceal it? It would take some powerful magic to make sure that no one found out. He went to Azkaban. It should have showed on the papers.” 

Orion and Sirius rolled their eyes at the same time and everyone was struck by how much they resembled each other. 

“Black magic. Isn’t it obvious, Snape?” 

The man shrugged. 

“I didn’t think there was a spell that could do it so permanently. Not even in the dark arts.” 

Orion smirked. 

“Oh, trust me, there are spells out there that you have no idea about. Spells that would make even the Dark Lord shiver in fear.” 

Sirius tilted his head slightly. 

“Really? We have those books here?” 

Orion frowned and nodded. 

“Yes. But they are restricted. I made sure that you would not be able to ever get to them, once I knew which side in this war you were standing on. I knew that, if you ever found out about them, you would sacrifice your soul to save your friends.” 

For a moment Sirius looked confused. Then he suddenly gasped quietly. 

“Fear this magic for it will consume your soul and make you into someone who you are not.” 

Orion smiled proudly. 

“I’m glad to know that you remembered at least something I taught you. Yes. That magic would take you over completely. You would kill your werewolf friend without blinking. I knew that something like that would destroy you, so I kept it away from you.” 

Sirius frowned. 

“You protected me?” 

He was shocked. After everything that his father had put him through, this was the last thing he had expected from the man. Suddenly his whole vision of the man changed. And aunt Druella being his mother. He couldn’t grasp it but, at the same time, it made perfect sense. Remus turned towards the painting. 

“Is there anything else you would like to show, mr Black, or can I continue?” 

The man nodded. 

“Do continue.” 

Remus waved his hand towards the wall and another clip appeared. 


	12. I've Had Enough

_ Sirius was standing on the platform next to Druella. She smiled softly as she crouched down next to him.  _

_ “How are you feeling?”  _

_ The boy shrugged. His eyes were matt and exhausted and he looked as if he had given up. Druella raised her eyebrows.  _

_ “Sirius.”  _

_ “I’m fine. A bit sore.”  _

_ She sighed and nodded.  _

_ “Alright. Go to your friends now. And don’t forget to write to me once in a while.”  _

_ Sirius glanced over to where James, Remus and Peter were standing with their parents. A shiver went through his body and he shook his head.  _

_ “No. I’m not going back to them.”  _

_ Druella’s eyes widened slightly.  _

_ “Sirius. What…?”  _

_ “I’ve had enough, aunt Druella. That rebellious episode of mine? It’s over. Father was right when he said that I will only get myself in trouble. From now on, I’m going to be a good son.”  _

_ Then his expression softened a bit.  _

_ “I’ll write.”  _

_ And, ignoring her tearful eyes, he turned around and walked over to where Bellatrix was standing with Narcissa, Lucius and the Lestrange brothers. His walking was a bit unsteady and it was clear that he was in pain. Bella glanced over to her mother and, when the woman shook her head, threw her arm around Sirius’ shoulders and pulled him close to herself. He went willingly. Malfoy raised his eyebrows at that but one glare from Bellatrix stopped his questions. They were getting onto the train when they heard a voice behind them.  _

_ “Hey, Sirius!”  _

_ The boy turned around towards James.  _

_ “What do you want, Potter?”  _

_ His voice was cold and made James stop dead in his tracks.  _

_ “Um…”  _

_ Remus quickly took over, seeing that James was completely lost.  _

_ “We were wondering if you’re riding with us.”  _

_ For a long moment, Sirius just stared at him. Then, suddenly, Dorea walked over to them.  _

_ “Sirius, may I have a word with you in private?”  _

_ Bellatrix, who was still next to Sirius, lifted her arm off of his shoulders. He glanced over to her and she shrugged. Very slowly, he turned back to the woman and nodded. Dorea led him away from the others and crouched down to get to his level.  _

_ “Sirius. I got word from Druella about what happened with your grandfather.”  _

_ Sirius paled considerably, but his voice was steady when he answered.  _

_ “Nothing happened. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _

_ She frowned slightly.  _

_ “Don’t. Please. I know what it’s like in that house. I…”  _

_ Before she could continue, he moved closer to her and said, in a cold voice:  _

_ “You don’t know anything. You don’t know what it’s like to almost die at your own grandfather’s hand. You don’t know what it’s like to never be good enough for your mother. You don’t know what it’s like to live in constant fear that your brother could fall victim to a punishment that could kill him. You don’t know anything. So leave me alone, you filthy blood traitor.”  _

_ Then he turned around and walked back to the group. He grabbed Bellatrix’ arm and pulled her inside the train, leaving the three shocked boy’s on the platform.  _

Remus turned his head towards Sirius. 

“Why…?” 

“I altered this memory. And the ones after this too. You don’t have to do anything, from now on. It’ll play itself. Including parts that I never told you about.” 

Slowly, the werewolf nodded and Sirius turned to Orion’s painting. 

“Were you proud of me back then,  _ father _ ?” 

There was so much anger in that one word, that Arthur, who was sitting next to Sirius, felt the need to move away. Orion shook his head. 

“No.” 

That seemed to actually shock Sirius. 

“What? How could you not… I acted exactly like you wanted me to!” 

The man nodded. 

“Yes. And I think that’s the problem. You lost your spark.” 

Sirius threw his hands up into the air. 

“Great. I go against you, you hate me. I do what you say, you hate me. Why did you even keep me?” 

“Because…” 

“If you give me that ‘because you are my son’ crap again, I’m going to set this house on fire.” 

Everyone’s eyes widened. None of them, except for Remus, had seen Sirius so angry. Orion rolled his eyes. 

“No. That’s not what I was going to say. I kept you, because you were mine. Don’t you get it Sirius? No one, except for Walburga and me, knew that Regulus wasn’t my child. I could have killed you and made him my heir. But I didn’t, because I saw potential in you. I didn’t, because I wanted you there.” 

“Because you love him?” 

Hermione’s quiet voice cut through Orion’s angry one and everyone’s eyes turned towards her. Orion shook his head. 

“No. Love is for fools. It only hurts you. Takes your will to live away. Don’t it, Sirius?” 

Sirius cast a murderous look towards him, while Remus suddenly gasped. 

“You.” 

The animagi turned to him. 

“I, what?” 

“You and Marlene. You never split up.” 

After a moment’s hesitation, Sirius shook his head. 

“No. We didn’t.” 

Remus looked between him and the portrait. 

“But how come he knows, but we didn’t?” 

Suddenly, Sirius looked very guilty.

“James knew. And Lily. I think Peter suspected it because of all the hints I was dropping. I didn’t tell you because…” 

He hesitated and Remus actually growled. 

“You didn’t trust me. After all we went through together, you thought I would turn my back on you.” 

Sirius groaned. 

“Just think about it Moony. Someone was giving out information about us to Voldemort. Someone was selling us out. Someone who was very close to all of us since he or she had all the knews. It couldn’t be James or Lily. I would have been dead, if it was one of them. It wasn’t Marlene. She wasn’t leaving the house. It was either you or Pete. And I just couldn’t imagine Peter being able to keep such a secret. You were the only candidate left. I thought… I thought that maybe you had gotten sick of us. That maybe you found a better option. I didn’t tell anyone about my suspicions, and I didn’t ask any questions. But, being it the position that I was in, I couldn’t trust you anymore. My life wasn’t the only one at stake. If I had been right, and it was you, I would have gotten many people killed. If I was wrong, and it was someone else, I would risk losing you as a friend. I couldn’t say anything.” 

For a long moment, silence stretched out over the kitchen. Then, Remus met Sirius’ eyes and asked in a low voice: 

“Did the others…” 

“No.” 

Sirius’s answer cut off his question. 

“No. I was the only one who suspected you. I shared my thoughts with Marlene and she locked me out of the house for five days. After that, I didn’t bring it up with anyone.” 

Remus shook his head. 

“Why didn’t you just ask me, Padfoot? After all we’ve been through together.” 

Sirius just shrugged helplessly and turned back to the others. Understanding that it was time for questions Molly took the opportunity to say something first. 

“Why did you treat her like that? She was clearly only trying to help you.” 

For a moment, Sirius just stared at her in disbelief. The he shook his head. 

“Seriously, woman. Didn’t you understand any of what was being said? Grandfather almost killed me.” 

Before it could escalate, Snape leaned forwards a bit. 

“Black? I have one question.” 

Sirius nodded. 

“What happened to Bellatrix? I mean, she looks pretty sane in these clips.” 

The fury that appeared in Sirius’ eyes made Arthur actually move his chair away from him this time. The Black whipped his wand out and pointed it at Snape. 

“You dare to even ask what it was when it was all…” 

“Sirius Orion Black! Sit and calm down!” 

Orion’s voice carried over Sirius’ and, against his will, Sirius’ body obeyed. He sat down heavily and threw Snape a glare that said: ‘I’m not done with you’ before he sighed and turned back towards the wall. 

“Nex one.” 

And the next clip played.


	13. You Know Where To Go

_ The four boys were sitting on their beds in the dorm. Sirius was staring into a book, trying to ignore the others. Remus was reading too, but he kept glancing up at James and Sirius. Peter was looking nervously between the two boys. James was glaring at Sirius. After a whole minute, Sirius slammed his book closed.  _

_ “What is it, Potter?”  _

_ James looked shocked at his tone, but collected himself quickly.  _

_ “I saw my mom’s face after you talked to her. What did you tell her?”  _

_ Sirius shrugged.  _

_ “The truth. Nothing she hasn’t heard before.”  _

_ James stood up from the bed and started advancing towards the young Black. Remus and Peter exchanged a worried glance.  _

_ “And what’s that supposed to mean?”  _

_ James’ voice was getting angry and Sirius sighed.  _

_ “Lupin, Pettigrew. Could you leave us alone?”  _

_ It looked as if Remus wanted to say something, but Peter had already nodded. He stood up, grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him out of the dorm. James was still glaring at Sirius.  _

_ “What did you tell her, Black?”  _

_ “I told her that she is a filthy blood traitor and that I didn’t want her help.”  _

_ The punch was expected, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Sirius put his hand up to his nose. It wasn’t bleeding so he relaxed. James shook his head.  _

_ “You know what? I don’t understand you. In the beginning, you seemed to be a nice guy. You were like a brother to me. And then you called Lily a… a mudblood. I was mad, but I understood that you didn’t know better. It got better, but then your parents showed up and you were suddenly changed. Some time after that you got better again. Now you’ve been home for some time and came back acting as if you hate us. What’s really going on, Sirius?”  _

_ Grey eyes looked up at him. Sirius looked suddenly very tired. James must’ve noticed it, because the anger disappeared from his face. He sat down on Sirius’ bed and asked quietly:  _

_ “What happened when you went home?”  _

_ Sirius seemed to be battling with himself, before he stood up and pulled his shirt off. He turned his back towards James and the boy gasped when he noticed the welts on his back. A few seconds later, Sirius pulled the shirt back on and sat down, groaning quietly.  _

_ “What happened?”  _

_ Sirius dragged in a deep breath.  _

_ “Grandfather. I’m not even sure what he was most angry about.”  _

_ “He beat you up?”  _

_ Sirius sighed.  _

_ “He… He broke my spine. Aunt Druella saved my life. But she couldn’t do everything. I still have trouble walking and moving too quickly.”  _

_ James was white as a sheet but he stayed calm.  _

_ “But why did you push us away?”  _

_ “Because I’m tired, James. I’m tired of being the freak of the family. I’m tired of always being beaten up by grandfather because I’m not exactly like he wants me to be. I’m scared that I will end up like the people in my family that turned away from our motto. I know that they are crazy. My own mother cut off the head of our old house elf because he accidentally spilled a few drops of her tea. My grandfather keeps beating up everyone that steps a single toe out of line. There is nothing normal about us. But they are my family. I can’t just turn away from them.”  _

_ James sighed. For a moment, it seemed as if he didn’t know what to say. But then he turned his head towards Sirius again.  _

_ “You know that getting out of there doesn’t have to be bad, right? I mean, just look at my mom. She got out, married my dad, had me. She is happy.”  _

_ Sirius closed his eyes and shook his head.  _

_ “I think that is why I have trouble with her. Your mother, she is the proof that there is another way. And it’s freaking me out. That what I have grown up believing is wrong. That… That I don’t fit in.”  _

_ They sat in silence, until James put his arm around Sirius’ shoulders.  _

_ “Listen, mate. I’m not going to say that I understand your situation. I really don’t. But I promise that, if you ever decide to leave your house, you can come home to me and live with us. You’re welcome there. I’m sure my parents won’t say anything. My mom likes you. And dad is the best. So, if you ever need someplace to stay, you know where to go.”  _

_ Sirius was just staring at him with wide eyes.  _

_ “Um. Say something. Scream. Punch me?”  _

_ Before he even realized what happened, Sirius turned around and pulled him into a hug. James hugged him back hesitantly.  _

_ “You alright?”  _

_ Sirius nodded into his shoulder before he let go of the other boy. James seemed to get even more nervous when he noticed that Sirius was crying.  _

_ “Good tears or bad tears?”  _

_ Sirius smiled.  _

_ “Good. I… I didn’t expect that.”  _

_ He glanced over to where James’ owl was sitting in her cage.  _

_ “Um. James. Can I borrow your owl? I need to apologize to a certain person.”  _

_ James grinned widely and nodded.  _

_ “Sure. But I think we should call Remus and Pete back. They must be worried that we are going to kill each other.”  _

The clip ended and everyone turned to Sirius. He grinned towards the wall where the picture of James still was visible, before he turned to Harry. 

“And that is why James and me were so close.” 

Minerva smiled softly. 

“You two were really close. Whatever happened. You were always together.” 

“Sadly.” 

Sirius was turning towards Snape, when Orion spoke up. 

“Was that when you got the brilliant idea of running away?” 

Harry, Ron and Hermione all stared at Sirius in shock. He ran away from home? The man shook his head. 

“No. Not really. It was never my plan. But then IT happened and I didn’t see any other choice. My plan was to stay until I turned 17 and then move out. Do it all legally. But that night pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t stay anymore.” 

Molly tilted her head. 

“What happened?” 

Next to Sirius, Remus tensed up. But the Black was still relaxed. 

“It will come up. We have a few more years to get through first. You’ll just have to wait.” 

Remus put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Padfoot. You don’t have to show them those memories. I wasn’t going to.” 

Sirius shrugged. 

“It’s alright.” 

“You know what will happen once they find out, right?” 

Another shrug. 

“I don’t care.”

He waved his hand towards the wall, and the next clip started. Hermione, who had been keeping her eyes on Sirius even after is started, noticed how he glanced back to his father’s portrait. There was actual fear in his eyes for a few seconds before Orion raised his eyebrows and made a slight move with his head. For some reason, it seemed to actually calm Sirius down, because he nodded and turned back to the wall. Hermione glanced over to the portrait and almost jumped when she was met with a pair of cold grey eyes. Orion frowned and seemed to think about something very hard, before he turned away from her and moved his eyes back to the wall. 


	14. First Prank

_ Sirius and James were hidden behind an armour, looking towards a door with grins on their faces. There was a bucket floating above the door. A few seconds later, the door opened and professor Flitwick walked out. The bucket quickly flipped around and a green liquid poured all over the short man. He jumped slightly before he started looking around with angry eyes. The boys grinned to each other, before they turned around and dashed away from the scene. Behind them, professor Flitwick was shouting something about vandals and ungrateful brats. Sirius and James laughed. But, just seconds later, they both fell silent when they crashed into professor McGonagall. She looked at them with stern eyes.  _

_ “Mr. Black. Mr. Potter. Would you like to tell me why you are running around in the corridors?” _

_ James glanced to the other boy. He was visibly nervous. Sirius smiled charmingly at the woman.  _

_ “We’re just in a hurry, professor. We promised Remus and Peter that we would meet them in the library to study.”  _

_ Professor McGonagall frowned.  _

_ “If I remember correctly, the library is that way.”  _

_ James dragged in a breath, but Sirius didn’t let himself get moved off track.  _

_ “We were taking a way around the castle to get Peter’s bag. He left it somewhere in the Great Hall.” _

_ James glanced at him with wonder. Professor McGonagall seemed to believe him, until a very green professor Flitwick ran into the hall. He was waving his wand wildly. The boys looked at each other and almost burst out laughing again. The woman looked from them to the short wizard and then back to them again. Understanding appeared in her eyes and her stare turned stern.  _

_ “You don’t happen to know anything about this, right boys?”  _

_ James shook his head quickly, looking way too guilty for anyone’s liking. Sirius glanced over at him, rolled his eyes and then turned to the woman with his charming smile back in place.  _

_ “No, professor. We don’t know anything about this. As I said, we are on our way to the library.”  _

_ Professor Flitwick came even closer.  _

_ “Don’t try. I saw the two of you running away.”  _

_ And James cracked.  _

_ “It was just a joke, professor. We didn’t mean anything bad with it.”  _

_ Sirius’ shoulders tensed up and he took half a step to put himself between professor McGonagall and James. The woman looked at them with a disapproving stare.  _

_ “You two will come with me. We need to talk. Filius, I’m sure Albus will help you with lifting the colour off.” _

_ And she marched off, the two boys following her quickly. When they had passed a few halls and there was distance between them and the woman, Sirius leaned closer to James.  _

_ “Let me handle the talking. I might be able to get us out of this.”  _

_ James nodded and glanced towards McGonagall’s back.  _

_ “Think we’ll get detention?” _

_ Sirius shrugged.  _

_ “I’ll try to make it so we don’t. But I can’t promise too much.”  _

_ The rest of the walk was spent it silence. McGonagall led them to her office and opened the door. Quickly, they stepped inside and stopped in front of the desk. The woman sat down behind it and frowned.  _

_ “There is no reason in trying to lie your way out of this, mr Black. I am well aware that the two of you are behind this. What I want to know, is why you did this.”  _

_ For a few seconds, the boys were just staring at her. Then, sudden understanding appeared in Sirius’ eyes.  _

_ “Oh. It was nothing like that, professor. I swear. It was just a joke. We didn’t mean anything bad by it.”  _

_ James still looked confused. Professor McGonagall sighed.  _

_ “You boys must understand that this could be filed as violence against a teacher. I will talk with professor Flitwick and see what I can do, but I don’t think that it will end without your parents finding out.”  _

_ Both boys paled considerably.  _

_ “You can go now. I will call for you when I have talked with professor Flitwick and we have decided what to do with the two of you.”  _

_ They nodded and left quickly. As soon as they had left the room and closed the door behind them, James turned to Sirius.  _

_ “My parents will kill me when they find out.”  _

_ Sirius rolled his eyes.  _

_ “No they won’t. They are too attached to you.”  _

_ James frowned.  _

_ “You’re awfully calm. Won’t your parents flip out?”  _

_ He shrugged.  _

_ “I have no idea. But there is no reason in worrying now.”  _

_ James hesitated, before he nodded.  _

_ “Alright.”  _

_ And they walked away.  _

The clip ended but, before anyone managed to say anything, another one started. 

_ The four boys were sitting outside. James was playing chess with Peter, while Sirius and Remus were talking over their homework. Suddenly, James noticed that everyone around them have quieted and he looked around. His face got white and he quickly punched Sirius’ arm. Grey eyes looked up at him in irritation.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ James just nodded in the direction of the castle. There, walking towards them with quick steps, were Orion and Dorea. The woman looked furious, while the man was wearing his everlasting calm expression. They stopped before the four boys and just glared down at them. Slowly, Sirius stood up. He was pale, but calm.  _

_ “Father. Mrs. Potter.”  _

_ Dorea nodded at him, before she turned back to her son.  _

_ “James Henry Potter. Care to explain to me why I was called into the headmasters office?!”  _

_ James got even whiter, however that was possible. Meanwhile, Sirius and Orion were just looking at each other. The man made a small movement with his head and Sirius nodded. Without a word, they started walking away from the others, just as Dorea’s voice rose to a shout. They stopped when they got to the edge of the lake and Orion looked out over it.  _

_ “I still remember when we used to come here to relax.”  _

_ Sirius glanced up at him.  _

_ “Father?”  _

_ Orion looked at his son.  _

_ “I’m mad at you. But I’m not going to say anything, until you tell me the entire story.”  _

_ Sirius turned back to the lake, while his father kept looking at him.  _

_ “We were going to play a joke. I levitated a bucket of green paint over the door to the teacher’s room. When professor Flitwick walked out, I flipped the bucket and poured it all over him.”  _

_ The corner of Orion’s mouth twitched.  _

_ “There is more right?”  _

_ Sirius nodded slowly.  _

_ “Yes. I used a permanent sticking charm on the paint.”  _

_ Orion actually smiled at that.  _

_ “I sensed your magic in that spell. Very well made.”  _

_ The boy’s eyes widened.  _

_ “Father?”  _

_ “Neither Dumbledore or Flitwick managed to lift the green paint and had to ask me for help. I remembered teaching you that spell when you were younger.”  _

_ For a long moment, Sirius was just staring at him. Then he turned fully towards his father and raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “You’re not mad at me?”  _

_ Orion shook his head.  _

_ “Why not? Dorea was furious.”  _

_ An odd expression appeared on Orion’s face.  _

_ “Dorea and I are not the same person. I’m not angry at you for playing a prank on a half goblin who acts like a wizard.”  _

_ A hard look appeared in Sirius’ eyes.  _

_ “So that’s what it’s about. You’re not mad, because professor Flitwick isn’t a human.”  _

_ The man frowned.  _

_ “Would you rather have me get mad and punish you? Because I wouldn’t see that as right.”   _

_ Sirius shook his head, before he did something that seemed to shock Orion. He turned around and walked away from his father towards where Dorea was still shouting at James.  _

The clip stopped and everyone turned to Sirius. Minerva was frowning. 

“Orion and Dorea assured us that they would deal with you two. I saw that Dorea dealt with James, but I don’t understand why your father took it so calmly.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Professor Flitwick is half-human, half-goblin. Did you really think that my father would stand on his side?” 

Orion smirked from his portrait. Hermione tilted her head. 

“Were you punished for that?” 

Sirius frowned. 

“For what? The prank?” 

The girl shook her head. 

“No. Walking away from him like that.” 

Sirius glanced over to his father, before he shook his head. 

“No. Not that time. As I said, he saw nothing wrong with what I did.” 

Remus leaned closer to Sirius. 

“That was the only time I had seen Dorea really mad.” 

Sirius nodded. 

“Yeah. Same here. But, that was only because of what could have happened. To be honest, I’m not surprised. We could have gotten expelled.” 

Harry frowned. 

“But… I heard much about the pranks you pulled in Hogwarts. Why was this one so much worse?” 

Sirius sighed. 

“It was our first real prank. It was before everyone knew that we didn’t actually mean anything bad with them.” 

Snape made a disbelieving sound. 

“Didn’t mean anything bad with it?” 

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look, before Sirius nodded towards the wall. 

“Let’s keep watching. We have many more memories ahead of us.” 

 


End file.
